Good morning. It's still a brisk, chilly, damp, "Brrrrrrrrr" out
there. The "quick frozen " koi in my pond are still; the delicate
plants are covered in cocoons of protective plastic; I'm wrapped in my
grubbies.
I was thinking this morning about a convergence of two
conversations I had yesterday. They coincidentaly happened back to back
within a five minute span. I was chatting with our VP of Academic Affairs
in his office as I was waiting for the coffee to finish perking. We
talked briefly, among other things, about how the enthusiasm that so many
of the younger faculty bring with them to the campus for classroom
teaching seems to wane as they hit and get ground up the academic culture
that truthfully does not value teaching anywhere near research and
publication.
I got my cup of coffee and decided to take a stroll through the
perky outside chill instead of roaming back to my office through the
steamy halls. And, talking about chill, I ran into a superheated Darlene
(not her real name) as she stumped across campus. My cheerful "hi" was
returned with a icy "grrrrrrrr!" that hit me with the force of an arctic
blast.
"I've been on more than a few campuses taking classes as my
husband moved from base to base. Let me tell you something that I've
noticed. Most of you professors are branded with a scarlet letter on
your chests."
"A scarlet letter?" I snickered, trying to turn the sharp twists
of her lips into the graceful angelic curls of a smile. "Am I about to
hear some salacious hot rumors that will warm up the air?"
An icicle came flying towards me. "Yeah,",her face twisted
tighter taking on the contortions of a gargoyle. "'N', burned deep into
their hearts, for being so damn negative about teaching and students. Why
do so many of you people care less about caring about students. You
people want to be in your books not in the classroom with us. I mean what
is it about so many of you high and mighty professors that you have to
come down on students just because we're not mini researchers and know
less."
"I think that is a bit much."
"Think so?," she snarled like an angry pit bulldog. "Ask the
students and see what they say, not that anyone really cares. You want us
to be so perfect and your teaching so easy. Let us make a mistake, and
you tell us we don't belong here--as if you never screw up. I think some
of you get pleasure at watching students squirm. Everything is always our
fault. You rarely take responsibility for what goes on. You just don't
give a damn! It's hard to be positive when you are so positively negative
about us. It's all over, not just here."
I didn't dare ask what triggered her outburst. Cowardice this
time, my sixth sense told me, was the better part of discretion.
As she continued her stump off, my conversation with the VP popped
in my head where it's stayed every since.
Oh, am I about to get myself into trouble. Oh, well, here goes.
When it comes to ourselves and others, if we are honest, with what
emotions **do** most of us profs and teachers tend to be most familiar,
more than any other emotions in and outside the classroom? I think it's
impatience and confusion and frustration. It's expressed in that forlorn
litany of comments we hear and read about most from colleagues and say
ourselves: "they-don't-belong" or "they-let-anyone-in" or
"they-aren't-what-they-were-in- my-day" or "I-am-wasting-my-precious-time"
or "I-can-be-doing-something-else" or "I-can't-do-anything-with-the" or
"they-don't-care-as-much-as-we-did" or
"they-aren't-as-smart-as-they-used-to-be."
If you leave most profs and teachers to their own devices we go in
the exact opposite direction of connectedness. And so, what may start out
as excitement, anticipation, and expectation usually devolves into
spiritless disappointment, lifeless resignation, forlorn surrender, and
maybe disgust or even anger. We become members of a put-down students
society because we spend so much time practicing being carried away by our
thoughts and feelings, our likes and dislikes from all but the "best"
students. We practice anxiety. We practice anger. We practice
frustration. We practice disdain. We practice joylessness. We practice
distancing. We get good at these habits because the more we practice,
through daily repetition, the "better" we get at them, are not conscious
of them, and the harder they are to break.
So, what would happen if we recognized and acknowledged that
reality, if somehow we got to the profs and teachers on the front end
before their souls were scarred with that pernicious "N", and with
spiritual scalpel in hand to those on the back end already branded,
confronted false and frustrating expectations, counseled them that the
classroom is a mixed breed rather than a pure bred, get them to understand
that being "average"--or even "below average" is not a brand of shame
anymore than being "above average" is a badge of honor, ground their
teaching in faith, hope, belief, and the joy that power positive
teaching?"
I am not talking about just throwing out a good idea or mandating
a "thou shalt not" commandment, having an occasional teaching circle or
offering a chance workshop or attending a conference. I am talking about
letting every moment be a teaching moment, being our teacher. I am
talking about a very aware one-day-at-a-time,
just-today-don't-think-about-yesterday-or-worry-about-tomorrow,
moment-to-moment, day-to-day self-discipline, an enheartening practice
that liberates us from the deep disheartening patterns in our hearts and
souls that keep us apart from ourselves and others. We have to practice
love to break the habit of indifference; we have to practice faith to
break the habit of disdain; we have to practice belief to break the habits
resignation; we have to practice positive teaching to break the habits of
destructive negativity.
To do that, would require lightning reflexes, herculean courage
and strength, tough love, endless honesty, infinite patience, nerves of
steel, unwavering resolve, addictive hope-oholism--and a touch of
foolishness. Sort of an exhausting personal and community commitment, but
well worth it.
Make it a good day.
--Louis--
Louis Schmier [log in to unmask]
Department of History http://www.halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, GA 31698 /~\ /\ /\
912-333-5947 /^\ / \ / /~\ \ /~\__/\
/ \__/ \/ / /\ /~\/ \
/\/\-/ /^\_____\____________/__/_______/^\
-_~ / "If you want to climb mountains, \ /^\
_ _ / don't practice on mole hills" - \____
Make it a good day.
--Louis--
Louis Schmier [log in to unmask]
Department of History http://www.halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, GA 31698 /~\ /\ /\
912-333-5947 /^\ / \ / /~\ \ /~\__/\
/ \__/ \/ / /\ /~\/ \
/\/\-/ /^\_____\____________/__/_______/^\
-_~ / "If you want to climb mountains, \ /^\
_ _ / don't practice on mole hills" - \____
Make it a good day.
--Louis--
Louis Schmier [log in to unmask]
Department of History http://www.halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, GA 31698 /~\ /\ /\
912-333-5947 /^\ / \ / /~\ \ /~\__/\
/ \__/ \/ / /\ /~\/ \
/\/\-/ /^\_____\____________/__/_______/^\
-_~ / "If you want to climb mountains, \ /^\
_ _ / don't practice on mole hills" - \____
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