Hey, Cindy, I've noticed anger is a good poetry prompt, too! It blows
out the flab and concentrates the energy. 'In-law fall-out' is a bgood
phrase in itself >g< only I'm often the in-law ...
Androo
On 20/04/07, Cindy Lee <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Sheila, thanks so much for these comments. I think this is the first time
> I've come near to grasping the image and meaning compression which makes
> poetry poetry rather than prose.
>
> Kasper, I have decided to take your 'aahh' as a positive comment :-). I
> should quake in my boots otherwise - not much though; seriously, I'd love to
> know where you think it's weak - not least to see if we accord.
>
> Patrick, I'm pleased you enjoyed reading it. The birth and death days at
> the back of this poem are 3 days apart. "Rough" by the way, seems to be an
> excellent state - I was in a fury (in-law fall-out) and had only 2 hours
> sleep the night before - and it's closer to poetry than anything I've done!
>
> > Cindy, the impulse that guides this poem into being is so very vivid,
> > brought forward via naturally valid images. I was at first inclined to
> > wonder whether "for we are not religious" ought to be cropped, but then I
> > held. If this is rough, as you say, the lines bring forth such strength
> > that
> > my first impulse is not to touch it. The sound of this is wonderful, as
> > well
> > ("in the garden" stanza, for example).
> >
> > Thank you very much for posting this. Sheila
> >
> >
> > On 4/19/07, Cindy Lee <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >>
> >> Your forty seventh April
> >> candleless
> >> for we are not religious
> >>
> >> in the garden gaudy
> >> branches float
> >> with early bees
> >>
> >> the sea breathes
> >> a weight of silver
> >> there is no horizon
> >>
> >> in three days the flowers
> >> will fall three times
> >> since your last April
> >>
> >> and we will sow a pale petal shawl
> >> to warm your bones as they drag and furl
> >> beneath the ice bright water
> >>
> >> Cindy - very rough, and any comments delightedly received!
> >>
> >
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
http://www.inblogs.net/hispirits
http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
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