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Good afternoon, Mr Richards >Wanting this to take on the aura of the distant past as with earlier poems, well, the past. There's a nice spot in nearby Cornwall. Chun. Up the hill from Chun hamlet, (chy oon, building on the moor, pronounced now choon) is chun quoit and chun castle chun castle is romano celtic, 2000 years old.... coupla hundred yards way is chun quoit, burial chamber maybe 2000 bc, as far as from the castle in time as we are I think the latter is distant but I digress > I gleaned a little, and there built up some sense of the watcher and the tallyman both. This is the kind of close reading a poet wants and hopes to be worthy of > 'like a fisherman...' 'like one harvesting / with a scythe' give me that pleasure, and an imaginative touch. also 'as boys at harps'. And 'as a mouse or familiar'. Thank you. I sort of worked for it. It was conscious. And familiar to me.I have a (small) scythe which I sometimes use. I am never forget looking out of a chuff train window in 70s soviet bloc and seeing a man scything... lovely rhythm and with the slow progress of the train we got a long long look I remember being v glad I had seen it and v glad I didnt have to do it. I am also an incompetent fisherman, but i have a sense of it I also saw a scythe in use this century. Crying the neck - the pagan bit before the church harvest festival. First they had to find a Cornish speaker. Then they had to find a scythe to cut the last of the harvest... and then they tried to use the heavy thing... I thought back to the man I saw in 73. A lot to do with his balance and a lot to do with him, I suspect, being built like a troll I live or lived with mice and favour familiars. Familiar was a bit of a joke because Elid as a sometime cleric would not be in favour of sucuh things maybe >Four similes, pleasing in themselves, and suggesting the way Elidius responds. Thank you, Sir. It was in my mind; s I say,and in general I have given it quite a bit of thought. It's not easy and he will always think like a modern, if an ignorant modern, because I am writing him - no matter how much I rely on History of Animals and so on, I am an ignorant Aristotelian > (their line - might as well be his line? Mmmm... there is then the ambiguity of to whom it refers > dexterous dextrous dexterous > and whom I assume who) ? er.... tis difficult in a linguistic world which tolerates "there is many" and "less people", one imitates; but offhand this feels like a whom to me. er It's arising from the object of a sentence... so... what larks... I don't usually find myself in syntax debates maybe I'm wrong I'll see what it sounds like when I wake tomorrow I'll pray to Elid Maybe it's Elid muddling in his third or fourth tongue L On 22 January 2015 at 16:15, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Wanting this to take on the aura of the distant past as with earlier poems, > I gleaned a little, and there built up some sense of the watcher > and the tallyman both. > 'like a fisherman...' > 'like one harvesting / with a scythe' > give me that pleasure, and an imaginative touch. > also 'as boys at harps'. > And 'as a mouse or familiar'. > Four similes, pleasing in themselves, and suggesting the way Elidius > responds. > > (their line - might as well be his line? > dexterous dextrous > and whom I assume who) > > On Jan 23, 2015, at 2:02 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > > > Elidius > > > > I watched one tallying today. By the dock. > > > > He was superb; managing three boats, five men, > > > > with a charcoal stick against the white-washed stone. > > > > Each of the labourers had a different pace, > > > > doubtless intending to outwit him; he was good. > > > > He saw, I guess, a line that no one drew, > > > > a line for each man working. When each crossed > > > > their line, he marked it, black on white, boldly, > > > > dividing attention, without it slackening, > > > > like a fisherman landing prey or guards on watch; > > > > and at the fifth in every case, he cut > > > > through the previous four, like one harvesting > > > > with a scythe, in one movement which could only > > > > be extended to mark uprights elsewhere > > > > as fast and as dexterous as boys at harps. > > > > Only now I think he was left-handed. > > > > They wanted to cheat him. They didn't dare. > > > > He took no part in further operation. > > > > The counted sacks, crates and bottles were snatched > > > > by other men, whom I assume owned them, > > > > as a mouse or familiar takes what it can get. >