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I received a letter from my bank today re the Writers Forum account

From memory

Dear Mr Upton

From November your bank account will change.

Presently you receive 0% on your credit balance. This is the notional
amount of interest you would earn if interest were paid.

From November you will receive 0% interest on your credit balance.

Do not hesitate to contact us if you wish to discuss this matter.

Unquote

In Brave New World, the lowest grade of human operative was an Epsilon.

They've slipped in a change. Nowadays everything is run by Zetas at least
- I am inclined to say Omegas just to be sure

At my train station

Q Why have you locked the toilets?

A We're worried they'll be vandalised

Q But now we can't use them

A Yes but the manager was worried they'd be vandalised and then you
wouldn't be able to use them

Q But now we can't use them anyway

A Yes, but they were worried they'd be vandalised

Q The sign says they're open. Why isn't there a sign saying they're closed

A He didn't tell us to write a sign

or I offer you the man who combines the electoral register

quote from memory

At present the following names are registered to vote at your address: 0

If I do not hear from you by the date below, I shall remove these names
from the register

L

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UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton
42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover
Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4
wfuk.org.uk/blog
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Lawrence Upton
Dept of Music
Goldsmiths, University of London