ah....it warms the heart, doesn't it, and just when I was getting cynical
and thinking all the heart had gone out of christmas...
Ho ho ho,
Graham
>Some light humour...
>
> Bill Clinton offers on-line shopping tips
>
> In a most appalling display of commercial evangelism, US President
>Bill Clinton addressed his people last weekend with a Thanksgiving
>message devoted entirely to extolling the sacred blessings of
>consumerism and to sharing tips for indulging this national obsession
>via the Web.
>
> His opening blurb was startling, fairly associating the Thanksgiving
>spirit with the business of making purchases: "On this holiday weekend,
>when we count our many blessings, Americans are also busy buying gifts
>for the next holidays, right around the corner," he said. We were hoping
>he might possess the dignity to leave it there, or at least pretend to
>have the dignity to leave it there, but we were disappointed.
>
> "On Thanksgiving... my family and I gave thanks for the enormous
>prosperity America is carrying forward into the 21st Century," the
>Gigolo-in-Chief warbled.
>
> We listened in hopeful expectation of some jaunty acknowledgment of
>excess, some self-deprecating reference to getting carried away, but he
>had only just hit his stride. The fatuities dribbled from his lips, and
>no doubt with the taut-lipped android smile of some brainwashed
>talk-show domestic tips cheerleader along the lines of Martha Stewart.
>
> "About four million American families will buy some of their gifts
>on-line for the first time this holiday season," the President drawled.
>"I intend to join them, because on-line shopping has significant
>benefits not just for consumers and large established retailers. On-line
>commerce also opens a world of opportunity for local artisans and small
>entrepreneurs."
>
> Ah, but there are risks on the Net, and His Smarminess was ready with
>a few special pointers: "First, in the on-line world, you must pay close
>attention to details. Carefully check for shipping and delivery dates,
>for extra fees, warranties, return policies, and phone numbers to call
>if you run into a problem."
>
> Sage advice to be sure. We look forward to his Christmas message,
>perhaps revealing his favourite tart crust recipe and quilting tips.
>
> And there was more: "Second, always buy with a credit card. With
>credit cards you are protected by federal law against unauthorised
>charges," the President of the United States advised.
>
> And on he went: "Third, guard your privacy at all times. Look for the
>unbroken key or padlock symbols on the order page to ensure that your
>credit care information will be transmitted securely. Don't share
>passwords with anyone, and be sure to read the merchant's privacy policy
>to see what information is being collected about you and how it will be
>used."
>
> He even consecrated a new national objective. Roosevelt had the New
>Deal (and contributing to the defence of decent human civilisation
>against vicious assaults by Germany and Japan); Kennedy had the Peace
>Corps; and Johnson the War on Poverty and the Civil Rights Act. Clinton
>would not be outdone. He offered to posterity the Online Shopping Spree.
>"We all must work together to make sure that shopping on-line is just as
>safe as shopping in a mall," the leader of the world's most powerful
>nation urged his people.
>
> This, then, was the President's Thanksgiving address: another
>opportunity squandered to reach a commercially debauched nation with the
>grossest of the world's gross national products in some meaningful human
>context -- something like gratitude or empathy, perhaps, as humility
>would of course be asking too much.
>
> But instead, a race blithely poisoning its cardiovascular systems with
>the most plentiful and cheapest groceries on Earth gorged itself during
>a day when thirty thousand black, brown and yellow children in remote
>quarters died of malnutrition, neglect and preventable disease, while
>the President chirped inanely about some fatuous point-and-drool scheme
>to stimulate the sale of tasteless consumer rubbish via personal
>computers. Surely, if he possessed the ability to reason morally he
>would have hanged himself in shame for that and perhaps fifty other
>grotesque public performances.
>
> We listened, and we confess it: we did laugh, all right; but we did so
>because if we hadn't, we should have cried instead. ®
>
>
>--
>Chuck0
>
>Mid-Atlantic Infoshop
>http://www.infoshop.org/
>
>Leonard Peltier Freedom Month
>Executive Clemency For Peltier!
>http://www.freepeltier.org/lpfreedommonth.html
>
>Free Mumia Abu-Jamal Now!
>http://www.infoshop.org/gulag/mumia_idx.html
>
>"A society is a healthy society only to the degree
>that it exhibits anarchistic traits."
> - Jens Bjørneboe
>
>
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