For anyone still *really* worried about virus warnings (like antibiotics,
they take up so much of our systems we might just as well have the bug)
try the following site:
http://www.drsolomon.com/vircen/vanalyse/va005.html#top
It explodes the myth of JOIN THE CREW, GOOD TIMES and most of the other
favourites. Amongst other things, it contains the *spoof* warning given
below...
<snip>
The latest breaking news on the GOODTIMES virus.
It turns out that this so-called hoax virus is very dangerous after
all. Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream
goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave
dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over. It will
put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and
hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give
you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas
tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend
behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your
Discover card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead,
such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave
to sully those things we hold most dear.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find
it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your
boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting
shade of mauve.
Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet
seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub
and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to
chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.
<end of snip>
Hope this helps!
Ric
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