Interesting structure, Sheila. I had thought on first reading that the
quality of light was weak, wheat, unthreatening but I see now you probably
mean the colour of the suit does the calming. Anyway the threads notion
works well. Not sure of final ‘also’. How would it be to interrupt the
parenthetical pattern and just drop it for the final line?
Bill
On Fri, 11 Jan 2019 at 11:36 am, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
> His suit (wheat light)
>
> Calms me (if I work)
>
> All night (threads connect)
>
> Winter teaches (overtones relax)
>
>
>
> Are we a river (pleasure)
>
> When together (principally)
>
> In the open (alert unharmed)
>
> The surface smoothed (also)
>
>
>
>
> Sheila Murphy
>
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