I like your slowed version, Bill. Speed of few lines, bit slowness of perception accumulating…
Doug
> On Dec 19, 2018, at 2:36 AM, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> cheers Bill
>
> On 19/12/2018 09:20, Bill Wootton wrote:
>> I can see merit in your version, Patrick, thanks. It’s more concise but
>> might sound like a series of announcements. I tried, in my second version,
>> by adding articles, to slow it down in lines 2 and 3 and not make it sound
>> so stilted.
>>
>> Bill
>>
>> On Wed, 19 Dec 2018 at 8:09 pm, Patrick McManus <
>> [log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>>> Hi just up here good to see snaps ! looking at this discussion with
>>> Sheila and Bill
>>>
>>> where's my snap-poem ?
>>>
>>> I wondered lightweight seems bit bogged down with words may I
>>> tentatively float! fly!
>>>
>>> spring lightweight
>>>
>>> flickering sun
>>>
>>> butterfly
>>>
>>>
>>> On 19/12/2018 04:03, Sheila Murphy wrote:
>>>> Even better, Bill!
>>>>
>>>> On Tue, Dec 18, 2018, 8:58 PM Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]
>>> wrote:
>>>>> Thanks, Sheila.
>>>>>
>>>>> Amended slightly now:
>>>>>
>>>>> spring lightweight
>>>>>
>>>>> in the flickering sun
>>>>>
>>>>> - a butterfly
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> bw
>>>>>
>>>>> 19.12.18
>>>>>
>>>>> On Wed, 19 Dec 2018 at 11:23 am, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> lovely, Bill. Thank you!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Tue, Dec 18, 2018 at 4:04 PM Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> spring lightweight
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> in flickering sun
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> - butterfly
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> bw
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
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Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Listen. If (UofAPress):
Oh, goddamnit, we forgot the silent prayer.
Dwight D, Eisenhower
[at a cabinet meeting]
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