I've always appreciated the new eyes here. Even though I wander away
at times (life, etc), it's always good to come back to this community.
Cheers,Jill
________________________
Jill Jones
www.jilljones.com.au
Latest book: Brink, Five Islands Press
http://fiveislandspresscom/catalogue/brink-jill-jones
----- Original Message -----
From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
To:
Cc:
Sent:Tue, 28 Aug 2018 23:26:31 -0700
Subject:Re: Sleep
We are a community. Nothing better than that, Bill!
On Tue, Aug 28, 2018, 11:08 PM Bill Wootton
wrote:
> Many thanks, Sheila and Jill. Sometimes new eyes see what these
eyes should
> see or only see much later.
>
> Bill
>
> On Wed, 29 Aug 2018 at 11:45 am, Jill Jones wrote:
>
> > Hi Bill,
> > Like this a lot. And I agree with yr poet friend, and Sheila.
This
> > version keeps to the point sharply.
> > Eight lines is a good length for a poem like this.
> >
> > Cheers,Jill
> > ________________________
> > Jill Jones
> > www.jilljones.com.au
> >
> > Latest book: Brink, Five Islands Press
> > http://fiveislandspress.com/catalogue/brink-jill-jones
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
> > To:
> > Cc:
> > Sent:Wed, 29 Aug 2018 08:41:41 +1000
> > Subject:Sleep
> >
> > Sleep
> >
> > As a clogged fire smoulders
> >
> > wrestling with its latency
> >
> > until from somewhere,
> >
> > kindle catches
> >
> > and flame is born
> >
> > so the transition
> >
> > from restlessness
> >
> > to the blaze of sleep
> >
> > bw
> >
> > I had two more lines at the end:
> >
> > and soon
> >
> > the lawless cinema of dreams
> >
> > but a local poet friend, Ross Gillett, to whom I showed this,
> > suggested
> > truncating it to just eight lines as above. Any thoughts,
> > poetryetcers?
> >
> > Bill
> >
> >
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> >
> >
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