Well, I enjoyed nit, & thought it fun, Bill, but the ‘He’ there did fool me a bit. Who knows?In Oz, there might be sleepers, so to speak, to make the beds look more comfortable….
The final line is rhythmically just a bit awkward?
Doug
> On Mar 14, 2018, at 2:57 AM, Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Oh, righto. Yeah, get that now. I remember inspecting houses full of a
> lot of decorator tatt. I mean, we get it, it's a house with, umm,
> rooms.
>
> J
> ________________________
> Jill Jones
> www.jilljones.com.au
>
> Latest book: Brink, Five Islands Press
> http://fiveislandspress.com/catalogue/brink-jill-jones
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
> To:
> Cc:
> Sent:Wed, 14 Mar 2018 08:52:23 +0000
> Subject:Re: Bed with no sleep
>
> Thanks, Jill. Maybe not too clear on my part. He the bed was
> intended. You
> know, those houses you look through, set up by real estate decorators
> for
> inspection by potentials. And there’s that bed to show you, in case
> you
> couldn’t work it out, that it’s a bed room.
>
> Bill
>
> On Wed, 14 Mar 2018 at 7:28 pm, Jill Jones wrote:
>
>> Hi Bill,
>>
>> I enjoyed the list idea of this and the way it moves via couplets.
>> Though I did wonder about the rhythm of the very last line in
>> comparison to the other lines.
>>
>> But I wasn't sure I got the whole bed guy bit. A real estate bloke
>> who's sleeping through life? Or have I completely missed something,
>> which is quite likely as I've had a full-on week or so - Adelaide
>> Festival and Fringe, Writers Week and beginning of semester - and
> my
>> mind may simply be on the blink.
>>
>> Cheers,
>> Jill
>>
>> ________________________
>> Jill Jones
>> www.jilljones.com.au
>>
>> Latest book: Brink, Five Islands Press
>> http://fiveislandspress.com/catalogue/brink-jill-jones
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
>> To:
>> Cc:
>> Sent:Tue, 13 Mar 2018 21:27:48 +0000
>> Subject:Bed with no sleep
>>
>> This month, a smart town apartment
>>
>> Victorian terrace the month before
>>
>> French style boudoir before that
>>
>> Californian bungalow sleepout next
>>
>> He’s anyone’s for white sheets
>>
>> plumped up pillows, cushion piles
>>
>> sleek pressed doonas
>>
>> The estate agents’ glamour boy
>>
>> Looking the snooze part -
>>
>> but don’t you dare lie on him.
>>
>> bw
>>
>>
>
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Listen. If (UofAPress):
the way of what fell
the lies
like the petals
falling drop
delicately
Phyllis Webb
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