It builds nicely, Max. The conversational tone, then the perceptual awareness of the final lines…
Doug
> On Jun 22, 2016, at 4:10 AM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Jet Lag after Long Trip
>
> In the hotel-room dark this morning,
> Melbourne’s winter solstice -
> body clock still out of kilter -
> I composed a sentence or two
> for yet another light poem:
>
> Anxious about her autoimmune
> deficiency as she planned our big trip -
> Seatac, SF, AK, Melbourne -
> she bought in a box of surgical masks -
> tried on one, judged it too small,
> too tight, and left them behind.
>
> On the long series of hops,
> with crowded airports and planes,
> we saw just one traveller masked,
> an elegant young Asian woman.
> It looked like a fashion accessory.
>
> Needs a strong joke to follow through.
> Dawn delays over the Dandenongs.
> Morning traffic below us beams
> towards town. Soon the black glass
> of the building opposite will reflect
> Albert Park Lake and the Bay beyond.
>
> Melbourne, June 2016
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
Automobile Accident
Not finding where the flowers were
he seized a tree.
Lorine Niedecker
|