See what you mean, Doug, but as Andrew observed, I'm trying to present the
feeling. Sometimes perhaps feelings arrange themselves as arguments in the
chatter of the mind?
Bill
On Thursday, 7 April 2016, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Fun as an argument, Bill, but I did feel that the opening sentences were a
> bit too much just that… Final stanza cuts harder, more rhythmically…
>
> Doug
> > On Apr 5, 2016, at 3:23 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]
> <javascript:;>> wrote:
> >
> > Imagine a declaration of pent-up passion
> > to your soul mate greeted with smile spread
> > and eye drop. 'That's sweet.' To be seen as sweet
> > is to be dismissed as a player. A lower order
> >
> > nice guy. Sweets come into consideration
> > only after the main course, the real deal.
> > Or as titbits on the side. Lightweights.
> > If so consigned, elevation's doomed.
> >
> > If I sound like a sourpuss, so be it.
> > Sourness sharpens, awakens, challenges.
> > The suddenness - and shock - of sour,
> > subverts saccharine pleasure. Citrus tang
> >
> > zips from the word go, cleanses tissues,
> > attacks your senses honestly, unlike
> > glumpy sweets, taste temptresses whose
> > siren call gut-wrecks, lumps you up.
> >
> > Who'd want to be adjectived sweet? There,
> > there, you little sucker. Who'd have thunk
> > such an innocent reply could rouse such
> > a sour diatribe? Well, at least I'm not bitter.
> >
> > bw
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask] <javascript:;>
> https://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuations
> 2 (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>
> Transforming once reasonable human beings into gullible idiots is one of
> the biggest businesses we have.
>
> Charles Simic.
>
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