Yes, like the alternative better. That's my vote.
Andrew
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On 3 February 2016 at 10:03, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> She sits skewiff,
> one leg shooting
> out to shore break,
> the other splayed
> sandwards.
>
> Played-out waves
> encircle her,
> an island of slump,
> around which
> beach strollers divert.
>
> They can see
> she's there for
> the duration.
> Her firstborn splashes
> in nearby shallows.
>
> Loose top semi-soaked,
> arms trawling wet
> sand runnels, facing
> sun full-on, she
> radiates surrender.
>
> bw
>
> Just wondering, is 'around which' a shocker?
>
> Could be:
>
> Played-out waves
> encircle her,
> an island
> of slump.
> Beach strollers divert.
>
> Thoughts?
>
> Bill
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
Books available through Walleah Press
http://walleahpress.com.au
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