Andrew, I find it hard to make connections between the stanzas. The opening may get legs but seems to lurch somewhere else in stanza 2, a footy reference? And by the 3rd, the introduction of 'we' makes me wonder: is the poem taking a didactic bent? By the 4th, I didn't know what game was in your sights - life? footy again? both? St first I misread 'complete' as 'compete'. And then those asterisks in the 5th?
The reason I didn't reply at first was because I didn't get it. I still don't but you insisted! And my team, Collingwood went down this arvo at the G. Sorry if I have misread everything.
Bill
> On 31 Jul 2015, at 12:46 am, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
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> I'd love some feedback on the following, if you have time.
>
> .....
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> Life is a hit album,
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> concept pending.
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>
>
> As spring dusts off
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> the holding yards,
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> North stays steady in a storm.
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>
>
> We plan
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> but rarely complete.
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>
>
> It’s a game of millimetres,
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> of a bee’s tit. Where
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> you came from
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>
>
> takes you to where
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> you go: *turn *
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> *to us with confidence.*
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>
>
> - Andrew Burke
>
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