You are right, Pat. Just saw this. Back in drizzly Melbourne. 'Snap' should not be in the title. Perhaps 'Shh' could be an alternative title but no, that suggests sound. So just 'Silence'. Thanks for the silent sugestion.
Bill
> On 16 Jul 2014, at 2:41 am, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Bill Just a thought by aged -snap actually is a sound? Also what really is
> the title snap would not have much meaning outside poetryetc ?is the title
> silence cheers back out into the glorious hot sunshine in my garden :-)
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Bill Wootton
> Sent: 15 July 2014 12:15
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Silent snap
>
> I waited, Max, to reply touche, just to extend the space in communication.
>
> Bill
>
> On Thu, Jul 10th, 2014 at 4:00 PM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
>> Neat, Bill.
>>
>> However, I thought for a second that below the title
>>
>> Silent snap 2
>>
>> was a gap, a space, a white emptiness
>>
>> filled with silence.
>>
>> (When the crowd rushed after the spectacle of Cleopatra, didn't they
>> leave a gap in nature?)
>>
>> Max
>>
>> On 10 Jul 2014, at 3:50 pm, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Right, here goes:
>>>
>>> Silent snap 2
>>>
>>> Silent snap 2
>>>
>>> How to impress
>>> upon someone
>>> that silence
>>>
>>> is not a vacuum
>>> between interludes
>>> of sound,
>>>
>>> is savourable,
>>> that silence is
>>> what it is.
>>>
>>>
>>> bw
>>> 10.7.14
>>>
>>>
>>> Pushing the 'is' envelope for Doug, incorporating most of Lawrence's
>> adviicd and adding two commas for Pat.
>>>
>>> Bill
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>> On 9 Jul 2014, at 3:12 pm, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Thanks, Lawrence, Doug, Pat and Andrew. Will contemplate both the
>> advice
>>>> and support. Silently. In noisy
>>>>> Cairns.
>>>>>
>>>>> Bill
>>>>>
>>>>> On Wed, Jul 9th, 2014 at 12:01 PM, Andrew Burke
>> <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> I simply like it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> A
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 9 July 2014 02:09, Patrick McManus
>> <[log in to unmask]>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> After two such learned comments I tread carefully I enjoyed the
>>>>>>> poem but (for me it stumbled a bit reading it aloud) Maybe I am
>>>>>>> missing summat! Line nine could be lost but also
>> shouldn't
>>>>>> 'that
>>>>>>> silence' be better 'silence that' then is flows on next lines
>>>>>>> -also
>>>>>> again
>>>>>>> 'between interludes of chat' s could be better shorter 'between
>> chat'
>>>>>>> Cheers P back to sleep
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics
>> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
>>>>>> On
>>>>>>> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
>>>>>>> Sent: 08 July 2014 16:26
>>>>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: Silent snap
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Hi Bill
>>>>>>> I like this; and it's been nagging at me because, possibly with
>>>>>> arrogance,
>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>> think you could make it even better...
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> What about making line 5 line 4 and vice versa? It changes
>>>>>>> meanings
>>>>>> without
>>>>>>> contradicting your meanings. It avoids 4 sibilants "silence is
>>>>>> desirable"
>>>>>>> together. I *think it makes your "argument " stronger
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I don't think you need line 9. Leaving it out makes you less
>>>> specific,
>>>>>> but
>>>>>>> surely that's not the most important thing.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> & finally "establish" bothered me. Sorry but it's a little bit
>>>>>>> too businesslike for me. Best I can come up with is empathise.
>>>>>>> If it
>>>> *were
>>>>>> my
>>>>>>> poem, I might go for that, odd though it might be. As it isn't
>>>>>>> my
>>>> poem,
>>>>>>> I'll
>>>>>>> just let my muttering fade out with a thanks for what you have
>>>>>>> done
>>>>>> this
>>>>>>> far
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> L
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On 8 July 2014 12:55, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
>> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> How to create silence
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> How to establish
>>>>>>>> with someone
>>>>>>>> that silence
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> is desirable
>>>>>>>> is not a vacuum
>>>>>>>> between interludes of chat
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> that silence is
>>>>>>>> what it is.
>>>>>>>> Savourable.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> bw
>>>>>>>> 8.7.14
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> --
>>>>>> Andrew
>>>>>> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
>>>>>> 'Undercover of Lightness'
>>>>>> http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html
>>>>>> 'Shikibu Shuffle'
>> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-p
>> ress-shikibu.html
>
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