That's interesting, Doug. I thought long and hard about that 'blank'. One
really needs to set up a nothing, in order to have a hole in it. Don't
think I have insisted on that though :) As for the scent of light, yes,
synaesthesia rules!
All the Best
Dave
On 20 August 2014 15:40, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I can see it both ways, David. What I don’t quite ‘see’ is that ‘blank,’
> which you insist upon. Okay: there’s a mystery there, which sounds
> throughout. I like best that ‘scent of light’ & what it seems to do…
>
> Doug
> On Aug 19, 2014, at 4:12 PM, David Bircumshaw <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
> > Thanks Sheila. that might be a good idea, although I'm still thinking on
> it
> > :)
> >
> >
> > On 19 August 2014 23:07, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> >> I really like this, David. Tiny suggestions would be to remove the
> second
> >> "still" (final stanza line 3) for effect.
> >>
> >> Great work! Sheila
> >>
> >>
> >> On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 3:00 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]
> >
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Moving, David. I get the gratitude I think. I found myself reading
> 'bank'
> >>> for 'blank' but maybe that's the final river interposing. Like
> >> particularly
> >>> 'footfall echo maps'.
> >>>
> >>> Bill
> >>>
> >>>> On 20 Aug 2014, at 7:48 am, David Bircumshaw <
> >> [log in to unmask]>
> >>> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>> * Scantling Saywas*
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Even though the walls
> >>>>
> >>>> Collapsed like lungs
> >>>>
> >>>> Even though to speak
> >>>>
> >>>> Burnt like a grate
> >>>>
> >>>> Even though your body
> >>>>
> >>>> Melted into space
> >>>>
> >>>> Even though the blank
> >>>>
> >>>> Was flamed through with holes
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> The morning still maintained
> >>>>
> >>>> A message from before
> >>>>
> >>>> The paths still proclaimed
> >>>>
> >>>> Footfall echo maps
> >>>>
> >>>> And afternoons still basked
> >>>>
> >>>> A scent of light turning
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Over on an open river
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> --
> >>>> David Joseph Bircumshaw
> >>>> Website and A Chide's Alphabet
> >>>> http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
> >>>> The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
> >>>> Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
> >>>> Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/
> >>>> twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
> >>>> blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
> >>>> Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com
> >>>>
> >>>
> >>
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > David Joseph Bircumshaw
> > Website and A Chide's Alphabet
> > http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
> > The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
> > Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
> > Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/
> > twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
> > blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
> > Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com
> >
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2
> (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>
> Something else is out there
> godamnit
>
> And I want to hear it
>
> C.D.Wright
>
--
David Joseph Bircumshaw
Website and A Chide's Alphabet
http://www.staplednapkin.org.uk
The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/david.bircumshaw
Tumblr: http://zantikus.tumblr.com/
twitter: http://twitter.com/bucketshave
blog: http://groggydays.blogspot.com/
Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.com
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