I waited, Max, to reply touche, just to extend the space in communication.
Bill
On Thu, Jul 10th, 2014 at 4:00 PM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Neat, Bill.
>
> However, I thought for a second that below the title
>
> Silent snap 2
>
> was a gap, a space, a white emptiness
>
> filled with silence.
>
> (When the crowd rushed after the spectacle of Cleopatra,
> didn’t they leave a
> gap in nature?)
>
> Max
>
> On 10 Jul 2014, at 3:50 pm, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
> > Right, here goes:
> >
> > Silent snap 2
> >
> > Silent snap 2
> >
> > How to impress
> > upon someone
> > that silence
> >
> > is not a vacuum
> > between interludes
> > of sound,
> >
> > is savourable,
> > that silence is
> > what it is.
> >
> >
> > bw
> > 10.7.14
> >
> >
> > Pushing the 'is' envelope for Doug, incorporating most of Lawrence's
> adviicd and adding two commas for Pat.
> >
> > Bill
> >
> >
> >>
> >> On 9 Jul 2014, at 3:12 pm, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Thanks, Lawrence, Doug, Pat and Andrew. Will contemplate both the
> advice
> >> and support. Silently. In noisy
> >>> Cairns.
> >>>
> >>> Bill
> >>>
> >>> On Wed, Jul 9th, 2014 at 12:01 PM, Andrew Burke
> <[log in to unmask]>
> >> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> I simply like it.
> >>>>
> >>>> A
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> On 9 July 2014 02:09, Patrick McManus
> <[log in to unmask]>
> >>>> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> After two such learned comments I tread carefully
> >>>>> I enjoyed the poem but (for me it stumbled a bit reading it aloud)
> >>>>> Maybe I am missing summat! Line nine could be lost but also
> shouldn't
> >>>> 'that
> >>>>> silence' be better 'silence that' then is flows on next lines -also
> >>>> again
> >>>>> 'between interludes of chat' s could be better shorter 'between
> chat'
> >>>>> Cheers P back to sleep
> >>>>>
> >>>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> >>>> On
> >>>>> Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
> >>>>> Sent: 08 July 2014 16:26
> >>>>> To: [log in to unmask]
> >>>>> Subject: Re: Silent snap
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Hi Bill
> >>>>> I like this; and it's been nagging at me because, possibly with
> >>>> arrogance,
> >>>>> I
> >>>>> think you could make it even better...
> >>>>>
> >>>>> What about making line 5 line 4 and vice versa? It changes meanings
> >>>> without
> >>>>> contradicting your meanings. It avoids 4 sibilants "silence is
> >>>> desirable"
> >>>>> together. I *think it makes your "argument " stronger
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I don't think you need line 9. Leaving it out makes you less
> >> specific,
> >>>> but
> >>>>> surely that's not the most important thing.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> & finally "establish" bothered me. Sorry but it's a little bit too
> >>>>> businesslike for me. Best I can come up with is empathise. If it
> >> *were
> >>>> my
> >>>>> poem, I might go for that, odd though it might be. As it isn't my
> >> poem,
> >>>>> I'll
> >>>>> just let my muttering fade out with a thanks for what you have done
> >>>> this
> >>>>> far
> >>>>>
> >>>>> L
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>> On 8 July 2014 12:55, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> How to create silence
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> How to establish
> >>>>>> with someone
> >>>>>> that silence
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> is desirable
> >>>>>> is not a vacuum
> >>>>>> between interludes of chat
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> that silence is
> >>>>>> what it is.
> >>>>>> Savourable.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> bw
> >>>>>> 8.7.14
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> --
> >>>> Andrew
> >>>> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> >>>> 'Undercover of Lightness'
> >>>> http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html
> >>>> 'Shikibu Shuffle'
> >>>>
> >>
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>
> >>
>
>
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