I was about to say that, Max, but yes, it turns nicely from the slow tackiness, Bill. I guess the passive voice is accurate for the observer there...
Doug
On Jun 17, 2014, at 2:22 PM, Max Richards <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> yes yes yes.
>
> a sequel, Bill, might be your instructions for your own
>
> last line ‘we’ should be ‘us’ - if you won’t hold it against I for a correctness which begins to sound old-fashioned
>
> Max
>
> On 17 Jun 2014, at 9:53 pm, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> modern funerals
>>
>> applause in the chapel follows
>> endearments from family members
>>
>> tacky 'representative' hits accompany
>> exhaustive sequences of projected photos
>>
>> overflow rooms offer more screens
>> if you can't make or don't warrant a pew position
>>
>> a life is 'celebrated'
>> sadness consigned to back burner
>>
>> Bundling out platitudes by the cliche
>> a smooth-voiced disc jockey in a suit mc's
>>
>> 'through the good times and the bad'
>> as if many times were not stock neutral
>>
>> and yet something of the dead one emerges
>> squeezed out between the forced rhymes
>>
>> of ditties composed with love if not skill
>> delivered by shaken, shaky voices
>>
>> a presence hovers absently over
>> we second-rate survivors
>>
>> bw
>
Douglas Barbour
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would you
care to be more
precise about whatever
it is you are
saying, I said
Bill Manhire
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