If you want to fall foul of Doug, L, you'll is, you'll are. Can be liberating, eventually, but it didn't come naturally to me either.
B
> On 14 Nov 2013, at 5:03 am, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> well i didnt mean too have anyone there but if you feel his her presence
> they may be there
>
> i'll have a look - thanks for that
>
> i almost certainly need my isses and ares!
>
> Thanks, Doug
>
>
>
>
>> On 13 November 2013 17:59, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>> I just felt it did, as if it became an address to someone in the final
>> stanza, an apostrophe, & had not been that before.
>>
>> And I wondered if you needed all the 'is's & 'are's in st 1...
>>
>> Doug
>> On Nov 13, 2013, at 10:53 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> I'll certainly think on that. I agree there's a change but I am not sure
>>> what you mean by the shift from one to you; so I am not sure what it is
>> I'd
>>> be editing out. (I'd be quite capable at that point of writing "looking
>>> closer, one sees..." & it's nufffin to do with her maj. you know
>>>
>>> anyway, i shall look again at it. i found it in my domestics file this
>>> morning where it slipped when i wrote it some months ago and has evaded
>>> attention
>>>
>>> best
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>> On 13 November 2013 17:40, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I like it, perhaps because it too seems so formal(ized)?
>>>>
>>>> But the address seems different in the final stanza, Lawrence, a shift
>>>> from 'one' to 'you' implied, but I'm not sure how or why. There's a
>> stasis
>>>> of the 'is' in the first 2, & I wonder if you can edit a bit of that
>> out?
>>>>
>>>> Doug
>>>> On Nov 13, 2013, at 5:09 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Facets of this river are boxed away
>>>>>
>>>>> and rarely seen but as humdrum imagery.
>>>>>
>>>>> It is decoration that is wanted,
>>>>>
>>>>> released as what is seen as cool;
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> and so one stands near the fountain, to stare
>>>>>
>>>>> over a field of pools, in profusion,
>>>>>
>>>>> quietly wondering why it has been set here,
>>>>>
>>>>> pleased nevertheless for certain calm.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Yet, now look closer and regard them well:
>>>>>
>>>>> watch how lines are drawn momentarily
>>>>>
>>>>> by and into water itself, a mode of dance,
>>>>>
>>>>> constructing space and edges within it,
>>>>>
>>>>> without ever stacking what it collects
>>>>>
>>>>> to distort or divert the visible meaning.
>>>>
>>>> Douglas Barbour
>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>
>>>> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
>>>> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>>>>
>>>> Latest books:
>>>> Continuations & Continuations 2 (with Sheila E Murphy)
>>>> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=962
>>>> Recording Dates
>>>> (Rubicon Press)
>>>>
>>>> Art is always the replacing of indifference by attention.
>>>>
>>>> Guy Davenport
>>
>> Douglas Barbour
>> [log in to unmask]
>>
>> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
>> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>>
>> Latest books:
>> Continuations & Continuations 2 (with Sheila E Murphy)
>> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=962
>> Recording Dates
>> (Rubicon Press)
>>
>> Art is always the replacing of indifference by attention.
>>
>> Guy Davenport
>
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