well i didnt mean too have anyone there but if you feel his her presence
they may be there
i'll have a look - thanks for that
i almost certainly need my isses and ares!
Thanks, Doug
On 13 November 2013 17:59, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I just felt it did, as if it became an address to someone in the final
> stanza, an apostrophe, & had not been that before.
>
> And I wondered if you needed all the 'is's & 'are's in st 1...
>
> Doug
> On Nov 13, 2013, at 10:53 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
> > I'll certainly think on that. I agree there's a change but I am not sure
> > what you mean by the shift from one to you; so I am not sure what it is
> I'd
> > be editing out. (I'd be quite capable at that point of writing "looking
> > closer, one sees..." & it's nufffin to do with her maj. you know
> >
> > anyway, i shall look again at it. i found it in my domestics file this
> > morning where it slipped when i wrote it some months ago and has evaded
> > attention
> >
> > best
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > On 13 November 2013 17:40, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> >> I like it, perhaps because it too seems so formal(ized)?
> >>
> >> But the address seems different in the final stanza, Lawrence, a shift
> >> from 'one' to 'you' implied, but I'm not sure how or why. There's a
> stasis
> >> of the 'is' in the first 2, & I wonder if you can edit a bit of that
> out?
> >>
> >> Doug
> >> On Nov 13, 2013, at 5:09 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
> >> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Facets of this river are boxed away
> >>>
> >>> and rarely seen but as humdrum imagery.
> >>>
> >>> It is decoration that is wanted,
> >>>
> >>> released as what is seen as cool;
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> and so one stands near the fountain, to stare
> >>>
> >>> over a field of pools, in profusion,
> >>>
> >>> quietly wondering why it has been set here,
> >>>
> >>> pleased nevertheless for certain calm.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Yet, now look closer and regard them well:
> >>>
> >>> watch how lines are drawn momentarily
> >>>
> >>> by and into water itself, a mode of dance,
> >>>
> >>> constructing space and edges within it,
> >>>
> >>> without ever stacking what it collects
> >>>
> >>> to distort or divert the visible meaning.
> >>>
> >>
> >> Douglas Barbour
> >> [log in to unmask]
> >>
> >> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
> >> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
> >>
> >> Latest books:
> >> Continuations & Continuations 2 (with Sheila E Murphy)
> >> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=962
> >> Recording Dates
> >> (Rubicon Press)
> >>
> >> Art is always the replacing of indifference by attention.
> >>
> >> Guy Davenport
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>
> Latest books:
> Continuations & Continuations 2 (with Sheila E Murphy)
> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=962
> Recording Dates
> (Rubicon Press)
>
> Art is always the replacing of indifference by attention.
>
> Guy Davenport
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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