Good subject to approach, my fellow retiree. My wife worries I may become
chairbound so she has me doing a million chores a day! Ho hum, probably
good for me, huh.
Apropos, just listening to Ben Sidran drawl out Maggie's Farm ... 'Ain't
gunna work on ... anymore.'
Andre de Riverina
On 19 September 2013 10:31, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I didn't think it was too 'free', Doug. Haven't I been rigid in using
> abbaabbaefgefg rhymes and lines in iambic pentameter? Or are my pentameters
> not iambic? Or are my iambs not pentameters? I don't really know enough at
> that level.
>
> Fair cop on the 'ises', I suppose but I just wanted to maintain a kind of
> vernacular in the argument. I tried 'Why does everything I want to do
> count/as a commitment?' for instance but the line turn seemed forced and it
> lost its feeling of pathetic insistence I thought. I have since tried just
> 'Why is everything I want to do/a commitment' which seems to address your
> beef but again, I seem to have lost some ... tone - is that what I mean?
>
> Thanks, as usual for making me rethink what I am trying to do.
>
> Bill
>
> On 19/09/2013, at 12:27 AM, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Ha, but even in a sonnet,Bill, since it's already a bit 'free,' you
> could probably cut a few of the 'is's, especially in the first quatrain,
> out…?
> >
> > Retirement = trad? Or something…?
> >
> > Doug
> > On 2013-09-18, at 2:16 AM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
> >
> >> Free rigidity
> >>
> >> Why is it everything I want to do
> >> is a 'commitment'? It's freedom you seek,
> >> you say: blank spaces in the coming weeks.
> >> It's not like I'm proposing a tattoo;
> >> surely we can accept a barbecue.
> >> It's not too long a drive to Pheasant Creek.
> >> Distance? It may as well be Mozambique.
> >> Openings, parties, movies, toodle-oo!
> >> Retirement from work should open doors,
> >> Invitations confirmed, no longer spurned.
> >> Open-ended readiness is strange hell.
> >> Whither spontaneity? always your
> >> riposte, which only serves to make me squirm.
> >> Can double lines once crossed re-parallel?
> >>
> >> bw
> >> 18.09.13
> >
> > Douglas Barbour
> > [log in to unmask]
> >
> > Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation
> 2 (UofAPress).
> > Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
> >
> > Something else is out there
> > godamnit
> >
> > And I want to hear it
> >
> > C.D.Wright
> >
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
'Undercover of Lightness'
http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html
'Shikibu Shuffle'
http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html
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