Powerful poem, Sharon. Unclear which 'stories are unrelated' however. The evacuation and the search? The evacuation and the Bear Mountain fire? The fire and the medical procedure? Should the line appear separately? Should it appear at all? Each of the incidents is strong in itself and the accretion and surprise ending may work equally well - or better - without it.
Bill (who lives in a bushfire zone where there is no evacuation policy)
On 21/08/2013, at 1:39 AM, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Thanks vivid picture is melange the word I am looking for ? cheers P
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of sharon brogan
> Sent: 20 August 2013 00:48
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: snap 19 august 02013
>
> Ashes fall from a hot,
>
> clear sky. Bear Mountain
>
> burns, and we taste it.
>
> The only smell is forest-
>
> on-fire.
>
> Another neighborhood
>
> is evacuated. Police,
>
> hazmat, and federal agents
>
> search for explosives. These
>
> stories are unrelated.
>
> This is a small town. Strangers
>
> nod when they pass on the street.
>
> Cars stop for pedestrians. Doctors
>
> are kind. Two more days until
>
> the surgeon cuts her open.
>
> Then we'll know.
>
>
> --
> sharon brogan
> http://www.sbpoet.com
> http://www.sbpoet.net
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> 406.578.1788
>
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