Well, it is the English and the US edition - interesting.
Aussie -
Snow in the air, mate,
but it won't bloody come,
dem clouds all walkabout –
swung like old eucalypt trunks
tethered, roped together
tight as a sheila's girdle, but high –
too much weight-for-age, dusty trail
of a drover's consciousness;
nah it will not fall here, not
in our lifetime or the next.
On 3 April 2013 06:22, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>
> Thanks, Sheila
>
> I am pleased that you picked up on weight weightening which of
> course
> can work for snow but trees tend to stay the same colour
>
> That poem dates in origin from last autumn, clouds coming in over
> land from 3000 plus miles of sea
>
> and well they did look like lorryloads, truckloads to you, of
> timber
>
> it's a fairly _straight_ poem -- saw it, felt it, wrote it
>
> rewrote it slightly, dropped a few unnecessary phonemes a few days
> ago
>
> best
>
> L
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics"
> To:
> Cc:
> Sent:Tue, 2 Apr 2013 12:06:29 -0700
> Subject:Re: Snapshot a bit before time
>
> The feeling behind this is very appealing, Lawrence. I'm pulling
> words and
> thinking about this:
>
> Snow in the air
> will not come
> clouds
>
> swung like stout beech trunks
> gather
>
> weight whitened
> consciousness
>
> will not fall here
>
> On Tue, Apr 2, 2013 at 11:15 AM, Lawrence Upton
> wrote:
>
> >
> > There is snow in the air;
> > and yet it will not come,
> > clouds carrying on over –
> >
> > swung like stout beech tree trunks
> > gathered together, roped
> > securely as one: high –
> >
> > an enormous weight, whitening
> > upon the consciousness;
> > but it will not fall here
> >
> >
> >
>
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
'Undercover of Lightness'
http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html
'Shikibu Shuffle'
http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html
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