the 3rd stanza needs work; other then that could this work?
(always the question of what you can get away with)
echoes in capacious rooms he feels
deals an inverted claustrophobia
deserted and lost in booms of heavy
artillery fire which then inspire
surrenders without any pretenders
that may turn the weather black
concerning fictions invented rented out
with no copyright claims on vented anger
frizzle hot in drizzle face shape chisel
not even the rain comes down with frowning
crowning a clown in pain not even you will
blame drowning at sea and main frame failure
let it be for now not a cow or bull
computation comes later; a lame game
--
BLOG http://abdevpoetics.blogspot.com.au/
|