L-Oops re shag did you mean that you sold shags? the seabird cormorant
Phalacrocorax arisolelis?? Sorry for any offence
P
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
Sent: 01 February 2012 13:39
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: received poem
I wonder on what basis you say that, Patrick.
I am generous to a fault. It's just that I'd have preferred it if she'd
asked _how much for a shag?_
I am never forget is a quote. Yes. It is so embedded in the patois of one of
my speech communities, a very small one, I almost forget.
You need bad Russian accent -- in the style of Tom Lehrer -- he, I believe,
who said he was giving up satire when Kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize
It was a song about how to plagiarise
I have just grabbed the entire routine from the net
In the spirit of the song
It was half spoken half sung
quote
For many years now, Mr. Danny Kaye, who has been my particular idol since
childbirth, has been doing a routine about the great Russian director
Stanislavsky and the secret of success in the acting profession. And I
thought it would be interesting to stea... to adapt this idea to the field
of mathematics. I always like to make explicit the fact that before I went
off not too long ago to fight in the trenches, I was a mathematician by
profession. I don't like people to get the idea that I have to do this for a
living. I mean, it isn't as though I had to do this, you know, I could be
making, oh, 3000 dollars a year just teaching.
Be that as it may, some of you may have had occasion to run into
mathematicians and to wonder therefore how they got that way, and here, in
partial explanation perhaps, is the story of the great Russian mathematician
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky.
Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote, Who's the professor that made me
that way?
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat.
One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-
I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
Plagiarize!
Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made
your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize,
plagiarize - Only be sure always to call it please 'research'.
And ever since I meet this man
My life is not the same,
And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach-
I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write. It was
on analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean parameterization of
infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold.
Bozhe moi!
This I know from nothing.
What-i'm going-to do.
But I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - ahah!
I have a friend in Minsk,
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Whose friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
Whose friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.
And when his work is done -
Ha ha! - begins the fun.
From Dnepropetrovsk
To Petropavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk,
And Novorossiysk,
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk
To Pinsk to Minsk
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!
And then I write
By morning, night,
And afternoon,
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,
When he finds out I publish first!
And who made me a big success
And brought me wealth and fame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach -
I am never forget the day my first book is published.
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book was sensational!
Pravda - well, Pravda - Pravda said: "Zhil-bil korol kogda-to, pree nyom
blokha zhila"[1] It stinks.
But Izvestia! Izvestia said: "Ya idoo kuda sam czar idyot peshkom!"[2] It
stinks.
Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles, Changing
title to 'The Eternal Triangle', With Brigitte Bardot playing part of
hypotenuse.
And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name.
Hi!
unquote
Now reading it again it may be that humour changes but, and you will
understand this better than I, Patrick, some decades ago life was terribly
miserable and we grabbed at anything
also, more seriously, it is a reworking of an existing (forgotten I believe
) routine
Lehrer is good to listen to still. I am playing some in my head. Recommended
On Wed, February 1, 2012 13:10, Patrick McManus wrote:
> Yes to try and get a drink off L she must have been desperate
> Later-Not sure if it is yours or her incompetence -please clarify P Ps
> 'I am never forget a woman in a bar in Athens-' has a ring about it is
> it a quote P concerned Actually Diana is very intelligent and has to
> play it down for insecure old poets!
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> On Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
> Sent: 01 February 2012 12:41
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: received poem
>
>
> She gets around
>
>
> She says she's in Australia but has an email in Italy under someone
> else's name. You'd think I wasn't busy! but I had a look at the
> header. The first IP address is unknown, the message just
> materialised, the second was in Ukraine
>
> I thought of saying I have a soccer of my own and we could watch it
> together. All sorts of nonsense. But what's the point.
>
> But I do like the incompetence which is why I posted it. One would
> have to be rather desperate to believe it though.
>
> I am never forget a woman in a bar in Athens trying to get a drink and
> wallet off me saying English? I like English. I will come to England
> with you. I'd been on a ferry sleeping on deck for nearly 50 hours and
> just wanted to be a little drunk and had to endure that nonsense
>
> 100 thousand years of fast track mental evolution and now VLSI Very
> Large Scale Idiocy
>
>
> Must work
>
>
> L
>
>
> On Wed, February 1, 2012 12:28, Patrick McManus wrote:
>
>> Ah yes she visited me last year had wonderful time P
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
>> On Behalf Of Lawrence Upton
>> Sent: 01 February 2012 11:59
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Subject: received poem
>>
>>
>>
>> Hello Mr.!
>> I know that my letter will a surprising for you. I will try to
>> explain to you. I asked the agency to find a man for a serious
>> relationship. They gave me email address. And so I write. My name is
>> Diana. I am 27 years old. I was born in Poland. But now I live in
>> Sydney. I'm a lawyer in the economic. I work for a big company. I
>> like my job, but I don't have time for relationship. A little about
>> me: I am very communicative girl. My friends say about me that I talk
>> too much. But I love to speak. I like to read books. Every day I play
tennis and golf.
>> I like watching a soccer and snooker. My weight 55 kg. My height 178 cm.
>> My hair color-light brown. My eye color - brown.
>> Now you know a little about me. If you are interested please contact
>> me on my personal mail. I'll have a vacation for a month. And I plan
>> to visit UK. To me interesting to know all about UK. I would love to
>> see your letter and pictures.
>> Please
>> tell me about yourself. I'm curious to know all about you. Have a
>> nice day. Diana
>>
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