A Saxon monastry somewhere in East Anglia 840 AD.....
HAND OVER YOUR TREASURE OR OTHERWISE WE WILL BURN, RAPE AND PILLAGE!!!
So who are you, then?
So who are you lot?
WE ARE VIKINGS, OF COURSE!!! WHO ELSE WOULD THREATEN YOU WITH BURNING, RAPING AND PILLAGING??
Well you could be anyone!!
WE ARE A FEROCIOUS BAND OF MERCILESS VIKINGS!
Well if that is so the case, where are your axes?
Yes, axes! Why don't you have any axes?
WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE AXES, TO BE VIKINGS, DO WE??
Of course you do! Otherwise we wouldn't know if you were Vikings or not. Without axes how do we know you are bonefide Vikings, you could be any band of ferocious and merciless warriors. You could be Jutes or Frisians.
JUTES OR FRISIANS, HOW DARE YOU!!
You see if we cannot positively identify you as Vikings, how do we know who you are and it will only cause complications.
We Saxon monks are very conciencous individuals and like to accurately chronicle everything that happens in Anglia. If we can't positively identify bands of ferocious and merciless warriors that terrorise our lands with burning, raping and pillaging our chronicles would be inaccurate. We would have to write, "Monastry in East Anglia burnt and pillaged by band of ferocious and merciless warriors of unknown origin". That wouldn't be fair on us nor you!
NOT FAIR ON US??
Well of course not, you wouldn't get the credit for your ferocious and merciless ways when our chronicles are read by scholars in centuries to come. They might think you were Jutes or Frisians!
HOW DARE YOU AGAIN!!
SO IF WE HAD AXES YOU COULD POSITIVELY SAY WE WERE VIKINGS?
IN THAT CASE WE WILL BE BACK, WITH OUR AXES!
OK LADS!! BACK TO THE LONGSHIP!! WE WILL HAVE TO COME BACK ANOTHER DAY, AND THEN WE MUST REMEMBER TO BRING THE AXES!!!