A slow picture emerging.
You said of the other, 'I'm prioritising the uttered over the page read.' But here it's the page reading that seems more important? So the pair will contrast in ways?
These sentences force a reader to take each bit of perceived space in slowly. And that 'Wobbly pen' stops one for a moment, where exactly & how is this scene being registered?
Doug
On 2011-11-09, at 5:53 AM, Lawrence Upton wrote:
> Low tide, extending waste between soft waves,
> tilting downward slightly towards The Gugh.
>
> The bar south coast is more or less regular,
> though partly a tangling of seaweed. Wobbly pen.
> The north coast is concave. It always is.
> Hollow demarked by large dull blocky dry
> boulders at the west tumbled on each other
> in a twining of such profuse dark green
> it could be seen as black, growing, cluttered
> by medium-sized rounded building material,
> most of it grey, some of it reddish-brown;
> and then a half-moon of rounds, red-golden,
> pushed eastward, which reaches almost the high point,
> where it touches an asymmetrical
> path of charcoal well-smudged; and westward,
> an unbalanced off-island beach, same tone,
> nudges it with multiple roundness;
> skirting both, on the southern sandy slope,
> tyre tracks; and then at the south eastern
> corner more parched spheres, many, descend
> almost to the sea’s underarm forest.
> Further west, a little over half way
> across the bar, a single half-oval globularity
> encumbers the true edge, offshore algae
> trembling on gentle tide.
>
> Most of the west
> is free of stone today; across the broad
> otherwise empty flat sands, Rorschach of weed,
> a flag, blown down into shreds by northerlies.
>
> A tractor, pulls with a trailer full of wood
> over what can be seen with slow competence.
>
>
>
> -----
> UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton
> 42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover
> Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4
> wfuk.org.uk/blog
> ----
>
Douglas Barbour
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Why poetry? And why not, I asked,
my right brain humming sedition.
Phyllis Webb
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