This does get going, Janet. A lyric I that flies way off the usual handle...
Do you need those 'from's in st 2?
I also wanted more active verbs later on where you have 'clouds are blurred' & garden is a flowering field'... to go with all the acivity of the I...
Doug
On 2011-09-26, at 3:09 AM, Janet Jackson wrote:
> I'm more than usually excited about this poem, want to share it with
> everyone <laughs at self>
>
> http://www.proximitypoetry.com/Writing/Poems/2011walk/the-right-metaphor.html
>
> Janet (yes, I'm still lurking on poetryetc)
> --
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Douglas Barbour
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Why poetry? And why not, I asked,
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Phyllis Webb
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