Dear Doug
> I especially like this, Lawrence.
Thank you. That pleases me. Not least because I believe you only say it er
when it is true!
> I take it the line demanded the 'that is' which to me feels
> superfluous...?
Well, there's what an acquaintance calls the line's dum-te-dum, if that's
how he would spell it; and taking it out would spoil its dum-te-dumness;
but there are rewriting strategies, opportunities to say more or other
things when there is good cause -- rather than hotmail asking you to
rewrite because their version of Artificial Unintelligence doesn't like
what you have written - BUT
(a) I don't like that pile up of _a dry informal abstraction supplemented
by much larger stretches_, I want the pause and its breath as the mind's
eye takes that in, a move from something real being seen as, as it were,
unreal to some extent and also seen as extended by or supported by more of
the real
it's abstracted FROM the ocean which makes it, though seen (_I_ see it) as
different to the abstraction of sea bed produced by very low water...
I could continue that, closing in on it; I'l stop there
(b) it enables me to make a conundrum in the reading by stress: an
abstraction that IS
I tend, ever so slightly to pause on a line end, hardly at all, which
makes that possible
there is no way of punctuating this correctly for all readings so I use
the line end; and the read version as primacy for me anyway
L
>
> Doug
> On 2011-08-17, at 5:32 AM, Lawrence Upton wrote:
>
>
>> They stride over the sands, blemishing their view.
>>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
> http://eclecticruckus.wordpress.com/
>
>
> Latest books:
> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> Wednesdays'
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10
> .html
>
>
> It is natural to speak of your own weaknesses so winsomely they will seem
> strengths, as if everyone else is inadequate if they do not have your
> inadequacies.
>
> William H. Gass
>
>
-----
UNFRAMED GRAPHICS by Lawrence Upton
42 pages; A5 paperback; colour cover
Writers Forum 978 1 84254 277 4
wfuk.org.uk/blog
----
Lawrence Upton
Dept of Music
Goldsmiths, University of London
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