Jill Thanks What's a adverb???
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Jill Jones
Sent: 17 February 2011 12:21
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: snap - reformed
Hi Patrick,
Thanks for that comment. It was a rework/reform I did today of a twice
longer very recent poem. I'd been working on some ideas this week
about cut-ups and feeding back one's own work - long story - so as
practice I cut up the long poem into something shorter (still long,
tho), based loosely on a system, then tweaked every so slightly. So
that may account for the scattered bounce.
By the way, I liked all the adverbs in your snap this week. They can
be a no-no in some places and great fun in others.
Cheers,
Jill
__________________________
Jill Jones
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website: www.jilljones.com.au
blog: rubystreet.blogspot.com
On 17/02/2011, at 6:09 PM, Patrick McManus wrote:
> Jill I old oldie enjoyed the cheery scattered bounce of this
> P
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Jill Jones
> Sent: 17 February 2011 07:02
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: snap - reformed
>
> Gem/ weird, reforming
>
>
>
> A second is only a sample of how
>
> a roof becomes rain.
>
> I've been careless with corsets.
>
> When the sex machine's on the blink
>
> turn up yr radio, is it the sound
>
> of silver pumping?
>
> There's too much ash and
>
> not enough syntax
>
> to make me watch with my baby tonight.
>
> If prime ministers could shelve their selves we
>
> could all be walking to boot.
>
> A mosquito yaps into
>
> the shimmering yard, if the dark's
>
> dark that's perception for you, boom tish
>
> but wait, that's the milky way
>
> staggering up there.
>
> Ladies and gentlemen, here's to the aliens
>
> yes to all those yeses.
>
> The rose isn't as ancient as its seed
>
> but it opens, dung is juice
>
> and the zapper is broken.
>
> But you can't recall your species anymore
>
> they won't listen.
>
> Succumbing isn't an answer
>
> nor is it a question
>
> and you could be right
>
> or frustrated by imagination.
>
> Let's fall without sleeping this once.
>
>
>
>
>
> Sydney 17 Feb
>
> __________________________
> Jill Jones
> [log in to unmask]
>
> website: www.jilljones.com.au
> blog: rubystreet.blogspot.com
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