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PRACTITIONER-RESEARCHER  August 2010

PRACTITIONER-RESEARCHER August 2010

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Subject:

Re: Is what I am doing a good idea?

From:

"Salyers, Sara M" <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Practitioner-Researcher <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:01:52 -0400

Content-Type:

text/plain

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text/plain (183 lines)

Dear Joan,
I don't think that I can do justice to all that I would like to express by way of thanks to your for this. I love your personal anecdote and the way that it pinpojnts what draws me to AR. (That was such a great response and one that I will use the next time I have to justify quoting the Rouches in the context of developmental almost exclusively!) Your quotes from Bache brought tears to my eyes. I shall be reading his work, and trying to get a thorough grasp of transpersonal psychology  in the very near future. It seems that there is a whole new realm of perception, distinction, language (and thus reality) being illuminated. Only it's not new - it was always there... As for that amazing experience, you're right, of course, I call it 'the magic' too because that is what it looks and feels like. So Bache is  already out there out in this 'new reality' shouting 'Hey, come and see this'! I find that wonderful and incredibly moving for some reason. Maybe it's just the 'I'm not crazy' factor?

What is a bit scary is the idea of 'cosmic grounding'. Because, as well as magic this phenomenon does feel like something that might be meant by grace; something bigger and more ineffable and more humbling than anything that might surrender to rational definition. And that is scary because it moves the inquiry into another realm, one where 'spirituality' might cease to be a separate and wholly private, maybe imaginary, practice and become, well, both real and shared. I feel as if, to quote a story I have loved, I may have been gazing into the dark and lovely night sky only to realize that it is, in truth, the eye of some immeasurable and unimaginable being. I do share your desire to explore the whole realm of education without preconditions or assumptions about where I am 'supposed to' arrive. I'm not sure if I have the courage - yet - to follow this one back to its source! But I will go on with the practice and the courage will probably follow along behind!

Thanks for the thoughts about the doctorate. I'm in the US but I will be talking to Jack about the final shape of my proposal, (when I've finished the reading he gave me), and maybe my hoped-for doctoral 'home' will find a way to accommodate me after all! I'll hold out for that.
love
Sara

________________________________________
From: Practitioner-Researcher [[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Joan Walton [[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2010 7:55 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Is what I am doing a good idea?

Hi Sara

One of the reasons that I was attracted to Christopher Bache's work is that his perception of the world is informed by his own experience, and vice versa - although he does not talk about action research that is what, in my view, he is doing.  In my thesis I was initially challenged in my viva on my 'limited' use of writers in my exploration of spirituality - to which my response was (which was accepted) - there are many people who write about their spiritual experiences; and many who either theorise about it or do 'surveys' or interview others in relation to their experiences - but very few who integrate their own understanding of what they mean by spirituality with their own exploration/experience of it - i.e. integrate theory and practice. Bache is one of those few people.

I cannot speak for either Alan or Robyn in relation to whether they would be happy to see (respectively) inclusionality or alongsideness as related to Bache's way of seeing and experiencing things, or even whether they would feel this to be necessary.  Jack differentiated the other day between energy that has a cosmic rather than a social grounding - Bache is certainly talking about a cosmic grounding. I will include another quotation, though, which may show that the essence of both inclusionality and alongsideness (as I understand both of those) can probably be seen as integral to Bache's transpersonal psychology (although even in this one section there is the use of the word 'wholeness' which I think Alan is unhappy about):

"When one experiences life as it is - in its "suchness" as the Zen Buddhists say or as a "grace" as the Christians put it - one is inevitably struck by its wholeneess, by the fact that at this profound and utterly simple level, life is not divided into parts.  The things that usually fascinate us, the countless objects dangling in store windows or catalogued in our encyclopedias, the people walking down the street each with their different story, all these cease to exist as isolated, separate phenomena.  Underneath and within this rich diverstiy, life lives and breathes as One.  Its inherent wholeness is not fragmented by its emergent diversity.

The essence of spirituality then, at least as I understand it and try to practise it, is to open this living Oneness or Totality that encompasses and subsumes all distinctions.  Wholeness, therefore, is the essence of the art." (p.25)

You have used the words 'magic' and 'magical' more than once.  So does Bache.  When he sees unexplained things happening in his classroom, he states:  "At home I started to call this mysterious interweaving of minds 'the magic'.  When the magic happened, the walls of our separate minds seemed to come down temporarily ...When the magic happened, my students and I tapped into levels of creativity beyond our spearate capacities.  On a good day the room was so filled with new ideas that after class I too copied down the blackboard.  In these elevated conversations, I would sometimes catch glimpses of a deeper trajectory of ideas coming forward and working themselves out in our dialogue."  (pp 22-23)

Who would allow you to conduct your doctoral research into this phenomenon?  A year or two ago I would have said the Centre for Action Research at the University of Bath with Jack Whitehead as your supervisor!  But as the centre no longer exists, that is not possible!  However .......any university that allows PhD students to engage in an action research / living theory approach to research, that does not limit students to particular disciplines or have 'boundaries' as to what they see as acceptable ontological assumptions, would give you the space to explore any ideas you wished in relation to understanding and developing your experience in the classroom.  You would have to make sure that not just the university, but the supervisor allowed that to happen also - many supervisors would not be comfortable with exploring such ideas.  I would see Jack as relatively rare in that respect, certainly in education rather than transpersonal psychology faculties.  And I think you, as for me, are motivated by wanting to enquire into the educational influences within our lives, without making assumptions as to where an exploration of those will actually take us.

Best wishes,

Joan


On 16 August 2010 23:01, Salyers, Sara M <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote:
Dear Joan,
I'm stunned by this. Thank you. Gosh...

This is exactly what I think I am looking for. If 'collective intelligence' is what happened, then what Bache writes about is real; it's nothing to do with belief or interpretation or personal conviction. It is a real, out of the box, life altering thing that happens like a kind of magic. And as little as I know about it, I know that it is incredibly important. Jack told me that what happened in my class, whatever it was that turned us into a 'unit', was what I needed to concentrate on for my dissertation. I wasn't sure he was right because I thought the phenomenon was too diffuse, something that was the result of too many factors (for me) to distill. Now I think he was absolutely right. I am really dazed by this explanation, which feels right as well as a bit overwhelming.

Although it may be slightly 'out in left field' for this forum, I do think that this phenomenon can be related to Alan's 'inclusional' space and to the practice of 'alongsidedness'. As I've said more than once, I think, it's an outcome - an end in itself of which the academic gains, the transformations that take place seem to be natural by-products. But who in the world would allow me to conduct my doctoral research into this phenomenon and 'the dynamics of collective consciousness in the classroom'? (That is *not* a rhetorical question.)

love
Sara
________________________________________
From: Practitioner-Researcher [[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>] On Behalf Of Joan Walton [[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>]
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2010 5:28 PM
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: Is what I am doing a good idea?

Hello Sara

I am not sure if you will find this useful, interesting or even relevant - it goes beyond the normal focus of conversations here - but Christopher Bache, Professor of Religious Studies in the States (Youngston State University) has written a book called The Living Classroom. It is grounded in transpersonal psychology - what he is basically saying is that over time, "well taught courses generate 'learning fields' around them, forms of collective consciousness that can trigger new insights and startling personal transformations".  He is talking about his own personal experience as a university professor for nearly 30 years.

His introductory paragraph is:

"This book is an invitation to explore the deep interioirity of teaching and the dynamics of collective consciousness.  It studies the subtle mind-to-mind and heart-to-heart connections that spring up between teachers and students in the classroom, unbidden but too frequent and too pointed to be accidental.  It investigates what I call the field dynamics of mind, examining influences that radiate invisibly around us as we teach.  It explores the emergence of a true collective intelligence that skillfully integrates the many minds present into larger patterns of discovery and transformations.  In short, it invites teachers to meet their students in a classroom that is more alive and more interconnected that we had previously thought possible, and in the process to take their teaching to a more conscious level".

Bache has for a long time explored different states of consciousness and the dynamics of the collective consciousness - his kind of exploration is not for everyone - but given you write "That gradually led to an energy, or a presence, in the classroom that was like nothing I can adequately describe" which was similar to the experiences which triggered his exploration, you might be interested in at least some of his ideas,  and accounts of his experiences.

Best wishes,

Joan



On 16 August 2010 19:58, Salyers, Sara M <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>> wrote:
Well, thanks. But if that's what I was doing, I really didn't know it at the time!

The thing is, I don't feel that anything I did was praiseworthy or creditworthy. I *do* feel that if I see what occurred in that class as a measure of my own accomplishment - any kind of measure - I will invalidate something else, something that became present to and for everyone, out of what we *all* brought to that writing lab. I think of it as 'the miraculous' and it was the truest aspect of the whole experience. Maybe there is some kind of accomplishment there but if so, it is completely different from the kind of cultural accomplishment that we are schooled in from infancy - the kind that reflects on our value as important/successful selves in the world.

Also, though I haven't clearly identified this before, there was definitely a process for which the starting point was a response grounded in *being* something/someone rather than *doing* something. Of course there were doings - some quite radical strategies - but they were all being informed by this 'being-ness' that kept pulling me into different shapes far beyond the boundaries of my own identity and all informed by the love I had for that class. That gradually led to an energy, or a presence, in the classroom that was like nothing I can adequately describe.  I got so much more than I gave. It was like discovering a new country or even a new reality, but a reality that doesn't *belong* to me. Whatever it might be, I know it's not something I want to lay claim to - like the colonizers of old - with my own patented definitions. In fact, I do not want to kill it with anyone's definition. (Definition, from the Latin 'definire', to bring to an end, has a tendency to kill the thing defined - necessary as it may be in order for us to communicate!) It's very hard to explain, but I don't want to teach anyone about it, be 'the expert' on it or show the world how clever I am or how well I have done. I don;t want to make it fit educational theory - although I might use some of that theory to help 'map' it. Instead, I want to yell about it at the top of my voice until everyone else comes to this magical place to see it or else they yell back, 'Hey, me too! I'm over here!' I would not argue that Servant Leadership might be a very appropriate way of describing/distinguishing, at least in part, what led to the outcome. But that outcome is what really matters to me and, in truth, it took a real coming together of fifteen incredibly different people to produce it. I imagine the view from Mount Everest would be something like it - overpoweringly awesome. But everyone should get to see *this*! Maybe I now know why mountain climbing gets addictive. I'm certainly going to keep going back for more. :)

Best,
Sara
________________________________________
From: Practitioner-Researcher [[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>] On Behalf Of Alan Markowitz [[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>]
Sent: Sunday, August 15, 2010 5:19 PM
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>
Subject: Re: Is what I am doing a good idea?

Hi Saras,
Congratulations on your work in your writing class. I would classify yout efforts at helping them get what they felt they neded is a fine example of Servant Leadership. Well done!!
Alan
Dr. Alan Markowitz
Director, Graduate Programs in Education
(973) 290-4328


On Sun, Aug 15, 2010 at 1:54 PM, Salyers, Sara M <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>>> wrote:
Dear Kathy and Alan and Jack,
yesterday - while nursing a headache that my grandmother would have described as 'enough to frighten the French', I was swithering over whether to write and say something about Kathy's e-mails or just keep quiet for a while if not altogether.

Alan, the irony here is that it was your frustration at banging your head against a wall that led to Kathy's response and then Jack's and that thus brings me back to this forum. (You know, the trouble with banging your head on the wall for a while is that, with all that ringing in your ears, you may not notice when you've made an impact!) So now I would ask, could you stay and be the the struggling life that pulls those like me into the river? (Thanks for the wonderful living metaphor , Kathy.) Because *this* is the conversation I'm looking for - the one that I'd give a lot to be allowed to enter.

I've been looking for a particular kind of conversation. (Not a better conversation, nor one that excludes joining in with other conversations - just one that I badly need to have at this stage of my own evolution.) Like Kathy, my head has been 'exploding' with all that has been opening up in front of me, in my own case for the past eight months. There are many things I really want, maybe even need, to share with others in a way that is true to the experience itself. I want to say, for instance, that I fell in love with my whole class last semester and that I *know* that was why our classroom became a magic lab instead of a writing lab. I want to find out if others have seen and felt the same things. I long to share my amazement as I watched myself becoming whatever they needed me to become: an indefatigable cheerleader for every person there, without exception; technologically proficient (yeeaaarrrgh); preternaturally perceptive on occasion and on others just looking over and over again until I could *feel* what I was seeing in my classroom; a facilitator who helped them to 'fall in love' with themselves and one another. I really, really want to have a conversation with someone about the fact that 'what worked' among those strategies I invented, were the ones I came up with in direct response to what I experienced my students experiencing. And the fact that these hugely successful strategies were ones for which I only figured out the rationale AFTER I had already implemented them!

I want to acknowledge you all and apologize for my own shortcomings - particularly my cowardice! Although it was deeply important to me, I let someone else jump into the river first. I was afraid to speak from the place I was advocating because I am not any kind of expert and I was afraid that I would sound ignorant and untutored. Along came Kathy who blurted out the same fear and then went straight ahead and talked openly about the way that her research is grounded in her neglect of her own well being and happiness and the hypocrisy of making a stand for others that you will not make for yourself. While I advocated the eye/I of the story, described the deadliness of academic jargon) and then included a very desiccated 'narrative' of my own, Kathy sent us the heron.
________________________________________
From: Practitioner-Researcher [[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>>] On Behalf Of Alan Rayner (BU) [[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>>]
Sent: Sunday, August 15, 2010 5:23 AM
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>>
Subject: Re: Is what I am doing a good idea?

Dear Kathy,

Your message is for me a delight to read! In its own way it is a profound and eloquent expression of your sense of natural inclusion, which I feel so many of us must feel as children only to have it drowned out by the noise of opposition and abstract argument (what I sometimes call the 'adulteration' of orthodox schooling).

What you describe is what my wife, Marion, and I would call a 'Naturemoment' (see attached leaflet), filled with the wonder that makes a river surge through my chest, only to be followed by the bittersweet evidence and admission of vulnerability and mortality from which compassion fruits.

I offer what I do to this list in the hope that it may reach and encourage people like you. I have been doing so for years now, but always with the sense and fear of being regarded as an uninvited and unwelcome guest, notwithstanding Jack's encouragement behind the scenes. That sense has increased recently, and been confirmed by some of the responses to my message. I am not looking for recognition or acclaim or thanks. I am not seeking to serve or to lead. I cannot assume that I am right in what I say or know what I'm doing and where it is going. I can only try to make sense and express what makes sense to me. I am looking for signs of receptivity and a genuine sense that what I offer, warts and all, is felt to be helpful, and continuing to be helpful, in one way and another. Just the kind of signs you provide me with below. When and where I find those signs, I will continue. When and where I don't, I won't. A river flows where it finds and can create and sustain openness. Sooner or later it turns away from banging its head up against a brick wall and finds another way, more inviting. Life too. Me too.


Warmest

Alan



----- Original Message -----
From: Kathy Bauman<mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>>>
To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>>>
Sent: Saturday, August 14, 2010 8:39 PM
Subject: Re: Is what I am doing a good idea?

Dear Alan,

I have a number of posting to respond to but need to respond to you first.  You see, in the few brief email exchanges we have had, you have had quite an influence on my thinking.  Perhaps I shouldn't be responding today as I am tired and emotional.  You see, being new to research I am finding I am starting to see my life and work through new lenses.  It is tiring!  I am counting the days till I am back at school and feel overwhelmed by all I want to prepare and learn to share with my children there. I have essays I need to finish for professors.

I have tended to be trapped in spirals if negativity mentally while trying to give my students and colleagues positivity.  The last few days I have been going through thought cycles like this, "
Wow, really important researcher have responded to my words!  I am really touched and what to respond but what if I sound stupid?  Dr. Whitehead didn't respond so maybe he thinks my idea is bad.  Maybe others think I don't deserve to participate on this conference because I don't work and a university.  I've got to finish my essays and get ready for school and I really need a break too and I want to respond to people and why do people say publish or perish and read of die, how fatalistic and I really need to...

I decided to stop this negative spiral and take a day trip with my husband to the waterfall where he proposed 7 years ago.  As we hiked I noticed things I hadn't before like the blue specs in the steep clay banks and the cardinal flowers by the stream.  I realized that begining to research was going to change the whole me for the better as I was more open to seeing and thinking about things I hadn't before.

I thought about your words and the idea of natural inclusion.  I wondered if I really understood and if it would be wrong of me to ask you for a simple definition and example.  That was when we reached the base of the waterfall.  The hike was much more difficult than usual as the heavy rains we've had this summer had increased the depth of the water and the speed of the current.  The current was so strong that all the little pebbles had been swept away and we were wading on a smooth surface.  I laughed as the current pushed around my legs and I fought for balance.  I speculated at how this poetic image would stick with me in my work this year.

That was when I saw her.  Any time before now I would have dismissed the bobbing shape as sticks at the edge of the pool that forms at the base of the waterfall.  I don't presume as easily now.  I looked again. Intuitively I knew I saw a living being that needed help.  I asked my husband for his shirt and dove into the pool.  The current was wicked and my clothes weighed on me but I made my way over.  It was a young Great Blue Heron.  She was pushed against the clay bank trying to get out but the strong current and slippery clay prevented her.  Wings spread out, feet braced on the edge  and long neck through up the back for air, she kept sliding back into the pool only to shove herself again against the bank and continue the cycle again.  I covered her gently with my husband's shirt so she wouldn't harm herself or me in struggling and got her up the bank safely. The wings and legs were undamaged  but she was very weak and in shock.  From the thin brown feathers on the top of her body I knew she was born this year.

I waited where she couldn't see me to see if she could spread her wings and start to preen the water logged feathers.  She would move a bit and was breathing. Night was moving in fast and with it the predators would finish her.  We decided to move her. We got her into a warm dry box and the darkness and quiet seemed to help.  We found a safe place and watched over till about 4 a.m. when she died.  The Naturalist said she probally had internal damages and there was nothing that could have been done.

I am very sad.  What was the point of seeing her and saving her if she didn't survive?

I just woke up and read your message Alan.  I hope my writing here didn't add to your discomfort.  I love reading your words and learning from you and you are an important part of the whole of my learning now! When you wrote, "Recent conversations have produced a feeling of discomfort in me,"
I wanted to say that I am sorry if I contributed to that discomfort.  I am a teacher and outside the world of upper level academia so I don't know all the rules of relating to professors and the language of advanced writing.  I keep getting words like epistemoplogy and ontolgy mixed up!

What I do know is that discomfort for me has often met that I am rubbing against something that challenges the way I think.  That is usually good and useful as it makes me think about my values and what is good in my mind.  Does everyone in the e-conference need to share the same definitions?  If action research draws people here but we don't all agree with each other or each others values or beliefs, isn't that a good thing?   I may not agree with  "all the congregates" under the umbrella of action research at this site but I think it is wonderful that the voices are here and being shared together.  We can challenge each others assumptions, invite each other to look at things in new ways as you have helped me to see that to heal and grow as an individual I will need to be dynamically tied to my community.

I know that I am new to your ideas and the ideas of natural inclusion, but isn't this a part of it or do I misunderstand?

I do very much look forward to many more words from you here at this site and from all the rest of you as we invite each other to learn and grow in our research.  I am not going to spell check or edit this in any way (which is unheard of for me) but send it will all my love in the hopes that it is a good idea.  I apologize if I have offended anyone in my writing but  I find with reflection that I don't apologize if I have made you uncomfortable as I have grown much by the discomfort of different thinking as I embrace the dynamic writings of all of you.

Sincerely Kathy Bauman



--
Dr Joan Walton
Director of the Centre for the Child and Family

Faculty of Education
Liverpool Hope University
Hope Park
Liverpool
L16 9JD

Phone: 0151 291 2115
Email: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>



--
Dr Joan Walton
Director of the Centre for the Child and Family

Faculty of Education
Liverpool Hope University
Hope Park
Liverpool
L16 9JD

Phone: 0151 291 2115
Email: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>

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