http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp
On Fri, Aug 13, 2010 at 11:40 PM, Chris Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I ripped this off facebook, but.... it needs to be archived in my
> poetry-etc email-thing
>
>
>
>
> Why can't I own a Canadian?
> by Nancy Mallette on Thursday, July 1, 2010 at 4:31am
>
> In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant
> Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
> 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
>
> The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US
> man,
> and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
>
> Dear Dr. Laura:
>
> Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
> have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
> knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
> the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
> Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of
> debate.
>
> I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
> elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
>
> 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
> female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
> claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
> clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
>
> 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
> Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
> price for her?
>
> 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
> period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how
> do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
>
> 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
> pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
> They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
>
> 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
> 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
> to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
>
> 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
> abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
> homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
> 'degrees' of abomination?
>
> 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
> have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
> glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room
> here?
>
> 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
> around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
> 19:27. How should they die?
>
> 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
> me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
>
> 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
> different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
> made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also
> tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go
> to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
> Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
> affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
> 20:14)
> I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
> considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
> Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
> unchanging.
>
> Your adoring fan.
>
> James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
> Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
> University of Virginia PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a
> Canadian)
>
> --
> have chronic fatigue syndrome so may be delayed in reply or brain fog weird
>
> just to let you know that's all, Chris Jones.
>
> Blog: http://abdevpoetics.blogspot.com/
>
--
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