Thanks, Kasper - maybe a good scheme, dropping the last verse. Les Murray
said a long time ago, 'The best way to improve a young poet's poems is to
chop off the first four and the last four lines.' Ha ha ... Generalisations
often have an element of truth in their centre.
2009/12/2 kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]>
> seems this would feel more complete without the last stanza. lovely
> enjambements, and the juxtapositions (sandal, gecko, workmen, milk) are
> likewise vivid.
> 2009/12/2 andrew burke <[log in to unmask]>
> > Last night a frog
> > under thin moonlight
> > in the circle of
> > a green hose wound up.
> > Today my wife's sandal
> > near takes the back half
> > of a brown gecko off
> > by the delicatessen
> > where the workmen buy
> > pies and flavoured milk.
> > Now same bee
> > as yesterday seemingly
> > walks up to my barefoot
> > on the hot driveway
> > saying, Not you again.
> > Little creatures so
> > honest in their lives,
> > so vulnerable in ours
> > --
> > Andrew
> > 'Beyond City Limits', pub. ICLL @ ECU, available at topnotch indie
> > bookshops
> > - list at http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
'Beyond City Limits', pub. ICLL @ ECU, available at topnotch indie bookshops
- list at http://hispirits.blogspot.com/