there's an edit, I think the is's & are's might still be in transit but the
rest is better I think.
KS
2008/10/1 kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]>
> thanks Doug & Judy for the great advice. verbs are little ruffians that
> sometimes need extracating. underway!
>
> KS
>
> 2008/10/1 Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
>
> Kasper
>>
>> I somewhat second Judy, but also wonder if you can rid the piece of the
>> 'is's & 'are's, get those lines out of the somewhat passive sense.
>>
>> the colours shine...
>>
>> Doug
>>
>> On 30-Sep-08, at 4:49 AM, kasper salonen wrote:
>>
>> disregard that earlier version, it's got more of a form now. here:
>>> http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dfr8jjpv_79k95xpsj8
>>>
>>> KS
>>>
>>>
>> Douglas Barbour
>> [log in to unmask]
>>
>> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ <http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/>
>>
>> Latest books:
>> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
>> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
>> Wednesdays'
>>
>> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html
>>
>> bleary with hashish at a ghazal dud show
>> in Kurdistan, soaring Muslim melodies
>> over a smoked-out Jamaican one drop
>>
>> Brian Francis Slattery
>>
>
>
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