>
> I tend to agree with you about the body displays and "wax doll" cosmetics,
>> Ken. Yet I know many who're comforted at seeing their loved one a last
>> time. A riff on that and my extreme desire to remember Just My Stored
>> Images, not the after-death reminders: When my dad died, mom had his urned
>> ashes placed on the little nightstand next to her bed. Appalled, I said,
>> "Ma, he's not there! Why do you want such a reminder?" Ever-patient mom
>> said: "It's hard for me to go to bed without knowing he's next to me." Oh
>> dear God, I couldn't fault that, having had no such love.
>
>
BTW, I very much like the remarkably pragmatic shiva you describe below. In
a very off-shootish way, I was buoyed (after being fired from my job) by my
Jewish colleagues who, as well as a Roman Catholic colleague, "stayed with
me" via phone and visit. No religious overtones with any of these
people----just the practical necessity of connectedness. I wonder at the
time and energy it took in their busy lives----and wonder why others "hid"
from me.
Judy
>
>>
>
> During shiva, you leave your door open. You don't invite people in your
> home, you just leave the door open. Everyone knows the same rules. Guests
> cook for you, run your errands, and leave you as alone or in company as you
> wish to be. You are under no obligation to be bound by the sham of
> "niceness," this is the only time the gifts flow at you with no requirement
> for recompense. For the misanthropic it is not death, it is a holiday and
> joy to stare away from someone and say nothing.
>
>
>
> KW
>
> --
> Ken Wolman http://bestiaire.typepad.com
> http://www.petsit.com/content317832.html
> -------------------
> "Stare. It is the way to educate your eye, and more. Stare, pry, listen,
> eavesdrop. Die knowing something. You are not here long." -- Walker Evans
>
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