Tough, fair, will be felt, Andrew.
I'd only maybe drop the 'is' after 'Time'...?
As it stands it does what it sets out to do...
Doug
On 25-Jun-08, at 1:07 AM, Andrew Burke wrote:
> An old friend of mine died this week, and i am reading this poem at
> his funeral on friday:
>
>
> (itlaics) The limits of my language are the limits of my world. (close
> italics) Wittgenstein
>
>
>
> As bit players, the limits
> of everyday activity
> are the limits of our lives. You are
> half out the door, going
> who knows where. Perhaps you can
> tell us when we meet again.
> We don't expect cards or letters,
> emails or texts, and only our
> limited senses would ask for
> photos of the other side.
>
> Did you leave your watch behind?
> I picture Sue running
> after you, shouting, 'You forgot
> your watch, you forgot your watch.'
> Time is only for us now,
> empty arms of the clock
> hold us back from joining you.
> When you were sick
> and tired of it all, you left. I can
> understand that. Mind the step,
> wipe your feet. I expect we will follow you
> in time. They chisel years
> on tombstones, don't they, yet facts
> are putty in historians' hands after deeds
> are done. It's a variety show, all this song and dance.
> Total it up: More love than hate,
> more laughter than tears. Do you need
> a torch? Or is that light at the end of the tunnel
> light enough? Perhaps you can send us
> a clue or two, telling us, What happens next?
> Eh? Tell me that.
>
>
>
>
> As usual, all criticisms gratefully received.
>
> --
> Andrew
> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
>
Douglas Barbour
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http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
Latest books:
Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
Wednesdays'
http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field
general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense
by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz,
even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long
bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this
aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in
the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home!
George Carlin, RIP
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