I wouldn't say powerful; also I don't find the language especially 'good'
except that it's concise & there's a very nice, terse, clean atmosphere to
this. of a Real emotional reaction. the blandness or tastelessness of e.g.
the dinner threatening to return to the plate fits the scenario perfectly;
there's no dolling up of events, except maybe in the 'drowning man' image
but that feels like a free association rather than a poetic device. there's
a rawness to this that, I think, simultaneously makes this a half-baked but
also utterly convincing poem. the ending is blunt & unlovely -- which works.
KS
2008/6/23 Heather Taylor <[log in to unmask]>:
> Hi all,
>
> I worked on a new poem on Friday at a workshop and I thought I'd throw it
> out there. I've been super busy with my MA (we have our showcase on Friday
> with agents, producers, etc) so I won't be online for snap day...so here is
> something new!
>
> Heather
>
> Last Rites
>
> The receiver seemed to leap from my ear,
> the gnarled cord pulling at it
> like a man left drowning.
>
> You picked it up, rescued my father's
> voice from the floor as my insides swayed,
> my dinner threatening to return to my plate.
>
> He wants to talk to you, you said
> acting like a life preserver between us,
> but I didn't want to be saved.
>
> The man who thought he could've raised me
> better than the wife he abandoned
> didn't deserve any last words.
>
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