----- Original Message -----
From: "Janet Jackson" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2008 11:01 PM
Subject: Re: Two poems
'Strapless Backless' has a lot of punch, nicely coiled during the poem and
released at the end.
'The Old Ward'...hmm... seems to be about giving a lecture or reading in an
old people's home or hospice and seems to be trying to say that the old
people are a threat... but I'm left unconvinced. I might like it better if
the poem was written from the point of view of one of the old people, as in,
"We're harmless, but...". Then you could get some serious evil happening.
Just an idea.
Janet
Try: making a documentary film (the screen), or writing a book or article.
Questions: What accounts for the speaker's strange tone and
inconclusiveness? Who is the chap in deep shadow? Is he perhaps the
speaker? Is he, and/or is the speaker, the "you"? Note double meaning of
"old ward."
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