Ken - a strong blast of angry air. Great rhythmic control in those
heaping-up lines.
Two little things: I would scrap the first four lines (after the quote), and
I would put in 'Father' in 'bless me, Father for I have sinned' ... Next
line says 'my father was ...' but with the senior F and the junior f I think
it makes for good effect. & the title doesn't cover it for me.
Andrew
On 17/03/2008, Kenneth Wolman <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> From the guy who could not squeeze out a word. Maybe this is real,
> maybe it's sophomoric drek like *Pink Flamingos* where a minor character
> sings out of his butt. Call it throat-clearing.
>
> KW
>
>
>
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