Nice weird story. I like it.
Frederick Pollack wrote:
> Stutter
>
>
> The couple entering Hooters expected
> wings, a big salad, a bacon-cheese or maybe
> the turkey-burger with the heart
> in front of it on the menu, one or two beers
> (they had had one or two
> at home, it was later established),
> and girls wearing camo-patterned
> (“Military Monday”) spandex above their shorts.
> The husband, a contractor, gray
> pony-tail bobbing over
> his MC colors was in a good mood
> because of an upcoming rally. His wife
> (and always his main squeeze) enjoyed
> the Hooter-girl repartee,
> and didn’t mind the tits unless
> they came too close to his face.
> Then she and he could drive home and fight
> and fuck like crazed bunnies. But that night,
>
> from the moment they sat down
> until the check arrived, they were two other people:
> he an accountant, consciously, self-
> acceptingly nerdy, a fan of Women’s Hockey;
> the wife liked “Antiques Roadshow,”
> had a master’s, and was indefinably weird.
> Same income level. (But what if they hadn’t
> been white? If they’d been illegal immigrants??)
> It wasn’t clear if the accountant
> and his wife became the contractor
> and his; wherever they were,
> they never made a stink about it. Churchier,
> maybe, or with AA in the background,
> they sat discussing trivia
> with long silences and some sort of
> undertone – not even
> at Hooters, but some snootier, quieter chain.
>
> But the contractor and his wife sued
> the restaurant for mental anguish
> and identity theft. The judge
> didn’t throw the case out immediately;
> had a hunch he was setting precedent.
> “Your clients,” he said, “weren’t damaged.”
> – “They feel insecure, Your Honor,”
> said their lawyer. “They suffer
> from a reduced sense of selfhood.
> I refer you to the statement by the therapist.” –
> “I’ve read it. I’m not convinced,”
> said the judge. Tempted to add something
> about the miracle of understanding,
> of *knowing, he was discouraged
> by the continual movement
> of the wife’s nails in and around her hair.
> “There was no harm or foul here.” Or improvement.
>
--
Tad Richards
http://www.opus40.org/tadrichards/
http://opusforty.blogspot.com/
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