Spent the last couple of days wrestling with an abominable last line to
a poem. And what I was doing was substituting one quality
adjective-abstract noun combination after another. They all sucked. I
kept thinking the elusive mot juste was out there, just dancing in front
of me, if I could only find it.
Then it hit me. I would never let a student get away with this. My
cardinal rule: never define an abstraction with an abstraction.
Everything I've said about tired words and working words. I would tell
the student, "find an image." So that's what I did. I don't know if it's
the right image yet, but it's the right direction.
And thanks to Donna Jackson, for not letting me kid myself into
accepting one of my rotten quality adjective-abstract noun lines.
Jennifer Compton wrote:
> comfortably numb would be plagiarism wouldn't it?
>
> cheers from jen> Date: Sat, 27 Oct 2007 14:27:49 +0300> From: [log in to unmask]> Subject: Re: nounless poem (Re: New at Sharp Sand )> To: [log in to unmask]> > I like 'angrily / numb' best. 'comfortably' would also work ;)> > KS> > On 26/10/2007, Joanna Boulter <[log in to unmask]> wrote:> > And yet we've only to observe a small child beginning to talk, to realise> > that nouns come first, and presumably always did. My observation of my own> > three led me to suppose that adverbs, and slightly later certain basic> > adjectives, come well before verbs.> >> > Incidentally, observing a small child with a limited vocabulary trying to> > express a thought more complex than it has words for, one realises how soon> > metaphor comes into the picture.> >> > joanna> >> > ----- Original Message -----> > From: "Janet Jackson" <[log in to unmask]>> > To: <[log in to unmask]>> > Sent: Friday, October 26, 2007 5:26 AM> > Subject: nounless poem (Re: New at Sharp Sand )> >> >> > >> Getting rid of nouns and writing a whole poem that depends on adverbs as> > >> much as most poems depend on nouns would be an interesting exercise,> > >> > > ok, here goes... no nouns or verbs allowed...> > >> > >> > > awkwardly> > > tentative> > >> > > confidently> > > passionate> > >> > > vigorously> > > brazen> > >> > > somehow> > > stinky> > >> > > angrily> > > numb> > >> > > succinctly> > > alone> > >> > >> > > Is this sentimental? yeah, I think it is. Sneeringly sentimental,> > > and trying to be clever for the sake of it. (I can say that, I wrote it.)> > > Originally I used only adverbs but decided adjectives were necessary> > > to make it a poem at all. I had no desire to add nouns, but verbs> > > kept trying to creep in masquerading as adjectives (eg 'broken'> > > 'swallowed').> > > It is extremely abstract. I don't like it at all.> > > Nouns may be optional, but perhaps we can't write well without verbs.> > >> > > Janet> > > --------------------------------------------> > > Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>> > > www.myspace.com/poetjj> > > www.proximity.webhop.net> > >> > > The songbird in its cage> > > Sings not for joy, but rage!> > > --Italian proverb> > > --------------------------------------------> > >> >
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--
Tad Richards
http://www.opus40.org/tadrichards/
http://opusforty.blogspot.com/
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