Janet,
I really like "my love" in this stunning context--the
way it grounds the poem periodically--but I think you
need to read it ("my love,") ironically, as it
competes for attention with _and_against_ the language
in which it manifests itself.
Candice
--- Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I like this better than most poems in formal rhyme
> because it's more clever with the language.
> It's rather noisy though, almost to the point of
> drowning
> itself out.
>
> "My love" makes me squirm.
>
> Even if you sing it I don't think you can get away
> with
> rhyming "translucence", "diffidence" and "sentence"
> (lovely words though they are)
> with "sense", "hence", and "fence".
> And I feel that "hence" is only there for the rhyme
> scheme.
>
> Janet
>
> > This is the trick, my love - a sleight
> > of mouth to slay the sentence
> > gone wrong, speech despite
> ...
>
--------------------------------------------------------
> Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
> Poems at Proximity: www dot proximity dot webhop dot
> net
>
> My life is like a movie
> that everyone but me has seen
>
--------------------------------------------------------
>
____________________________________________________________________________________
Park yourself in front of a world of choices in alternative vehicles. Visit the Yahoo! Auto Green Center.
http://autos.yahoo.com/green_center/
|