>I like this a lot, except for that first line. It seems to me you
should be
>committed to the rhyme. Top-of-my-head suggestions: Drop the first
line and
>put the second at the end of the poem. And instead of "trues,"
"thews,"
>which is a mostly obsolete word but which might work here.
Thank you Frederick. It was a quick thought this morning, after three
weeks of - well, nothing, to be honest. Pick the Petcer who's been
reading Douglas Barbour on ghazals...
C.
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