Love this -- such rich language! (especially "shilling-edged ravines")
Except for the last, abstract, line -- might it be stronger
if you deleted that line?
Janet
> My earthen bride
>
> whose lovers sink their blackstick fingers
...
> seeking to touch your forehead with my partisan thumbs
>
> though I am worn thin, the sun moving steadily from me
>
> and sweetness becoming the vaguer emotion...
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Janet Jackson <[log in to unmask]>
Poems at Proximity: www dot proximity dot webhop dot net
Our humanity is diminished when we have no mission
bigger than ourselves.
Bono
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