Oh yes, Andrew. I am deemed to be an in-law of somewhat nuclear potential
myself...
Can't see it :-)
Cindy
----- Original Message -----
From: "andrew burke" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, April 20, 2007 12:35 PM
Subject: Re: Late Snap - Birthday Gift
> Hey, Cindy, I've noticed anger is a good poetry prompt, too! It blows
> out the flab and concentrates the energy. 'In-law fall-out' is a bgood
> phrase in itself >g< only I'm often the in-law ...
>
> Androo
>
> On 20/04/07, Cindy Lee <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>> Sheila, thanks so much for these comments. I think this is the first
>> time
>> I've come near to grasping the image and meaning compression which makes
>> poetry poetry rather than prose.
>>
>> Kasper, I have decided to take your 'aahh' as a positive comment :-). I
>> should quake in my boots otherwise - not much though; seriously, I'd love
>> to
>> know where you think it's weak - not least to see if we accord.
>>
>> Patrick, I'm pleased you enjoyed reading it. The birth and death days at
>> the back of this poem are 3 days apart. "Rough" by the way, seems to be
>> an
>> excellent state - I was in a fury (in-law fall-out) and had only 2 hours
>> sleep the night before - and it's closer to poetry than anything I've
>> done!
>>
>> > Cindy, the impulse that guides this poem into being is so very vivid,
>> > brought forward via naturally valid images. I was at first inclined to
>> > wonder whether "for we are not religious" ought to be cropped, but then
>> > I
>> > held. If this is rough, as you say, the lines bring forth such strength
>> > that
>> > my first impulse is not to touch it. The sound of this is wonderful, as
>> > well
>> > ("in the garden" stanza, for example).
>> >
>> > Thank you very much for posting this. Sheila
>> >
>> >
>> > On 4/19/07, Cindy Lee <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Your forty seventh April
>> >> candleless
>> >> for we are not religious
>> >>
>> >> in the garden gaudy
>> >> branches float
>> >> with early bees
>> >>
>> >> the sea breathes
>> >> a weight of silver
>> >> there is no horizon
>> >>
>> >> in three days the flowers
>> >> will fall three times
>> >> since your last April
>> >>
>> >> and we will sow a pale petal shawl
>> >> to warm your bones as they drag and furl
>> >> beneath the ice bright water
>> >>
>> >> Cindy - very rough, and any comments delightedly received!
>> >>
>> >
>>
>
>
> --
> Andrew
> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> http://www.inblogs.net/hispirits
> http://www.flickr.com/photos/aburke/
>
|