yes sure - but just one line too long! it would drive me crazy
----Original Message Follows----
From: Alison Croggon <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics" <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Ode
Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007 09:51:22 +1000
Thanks Jennifer. I worked a lot on getting the rhythm right - I wanted it to
be both lyrical and "broken"; I don't seek "perfect" lines, but something
else. If I speak it out loud, it works for me!
xA
On 4/27/07, Jennifer Compton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>well i really like this - it has narrative greed - and logic
>
>one picky thing to say - one line is just too long, the clump of glass
>line
>- maybe take the 'but' out
>
>a sad poem and a poem for the spirit of the times - just like watching TV
>these days
>
>cheers jen
>
>----Original Message Follows----
>From: Alison Croggon <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: "Poetryetc: poetry and poetics" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Ode
>Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007 00:21:56 +1000
>
>Since everyone's posting poems, I'll post one too. I don't think I've
>posted
>it before...I wrote it a couple of months ago, and it's still my most
>recent
>poem. I only write poems these days when I can't prevent myself from doing
>so.
>
>xA
>
>Ode
>
>
>We were woken too early, before the moths had died in the streets,
>when buds had barely hardened in the frost, when stars are hurtful
>and famished. They took us through gardens and past the halls
>where once we had lingered, past the houses and doused markets.
>Our footsteps echoed back like iron. Of course we were frightened,
>that was a given, of course we remembered photographs we had studied
>that then had nothing to do with us. The empty light of morning
>made anything seem possible, even freedom, even God. We stumbled
>on familiar roads, and everything turned away from us,
>lamp-posts, windows, signs. They weren't ours any longer. Even the air
>greeted us differently, pinching our skin to wake us from its dreams.
>
>
>*
>
>
>Words of course were beyond us. They were what killed us
>to begin with. They were taken away from the mouths that loved them
>and given to men who worked their sorceries in distant cities,
>who said that difficult things were simple now and that simple things
>no longer existed. It was hard to find our way, we understood
>the tender magic of hands, we knew the magic of things not spoken,
>but this was a trick we couldn't grasp. It lifted the world in a clump of
>glass
>and when everything came back down the streets had vanished.
>In their places were shoes and clotting puddles and sparking wires
>and holes and bricks and other things that words have no words for
>and that silence swelling the noise until you can't hear anything at all.
>
>
>*
>
>
>It's said that the dead don't dream, but I dream of flowers.
>I could dream so many flowers – lilies like golden snow on water,
>hyacinths the colours of summer evenings or those amaranths they call
>love-lies-bleeding. I dream of none of those. I dream instead
>of wind-blown roses that grew in our shabby yard, of daisies
>glimpsed through the kitchen window, of marigolds that glowed
>through nets of weed. But most of all, I dream of red anemones
>that never grew in my garden. They rise on slender stalks,
>their seven-petalled heads bobbing and weaving in the wind.
>Wind-flowers, Pliny called them, because they open only in the wind,
>and the wind scatters their petals over every waste in the world.
>
>
>
>
>
>--
>Editor, Masthead: http://www.masthead.net.au
>Blog: http://theatrenotes.blogspot.com
>Home page: http://www.alisoncroggon.com
>
>_________________________________________________________________
>Advertisement: Its simple! Sell your car for just $30 at carsales.com.au
>
>http://a.ninemsn.com.au/b.aspx?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fsecure%2Dau%2Eimrworldwide%2Ecom%2Fcgi%2Dbin%2Fa%2Fci%5F450304%2Fet%5F2%2Fcg%5F801577%2Fpi%5F1005244%2Fai%5F838588&_t=754951090&_r=tig&_m=EXT
>
--
Editor, Masthead: http://www.masthead.net.au
Blog: http://theatrenotes.blogspot.com
Home page: http://www.alisoncroggon.com
_________________________________________________________________
Advertisement: Your Future Starts Here. Dream it? Then be it! Find it at
www.ninemsn.seek.com.au
http://a.ninemsn.com.au/b.aspx?URL=http%3A%2F%2Fninemsn%2Eseek%2Ecom%2Eau%2F%3Ftracking%3Dsk%3Ahet%3Ask%3Anine%3A0%3Ahot%3Atext&_t=762942039&_r=seek_apr07_yourfuturestartshere&_m=EXT
|