Good dream, but, yeah, I tend to agree with Doug - needs a little
pace, a little jerkiness and breathless stumbling ... or somesuch ...
Hi, Janet. I hear you compered really well. Someone said you were a
'character'. Well, we all know that!
Androo (the oldfashioned)
On 06/04/07, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> There's a neat dreamlike narrative to this, Janet, but I still want to
> hurry you along. Little cuts all the way through, but especially in
> stanza 3. Not sure ho to do it, though, sorry....
>
> Doug
> On 4-Apr-07, at 10:29 PM, Janet Jackson wrote:
>
> > The umpteenth draft. Feedback welcome.
> >
> > The high hill
> Douglas Barbour
> 11655 - 72 Avenue NW
> Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
> (780) 436 3320
> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
>
> Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
>
>
> lipsynching awe all the way to the grave of the unknown onus:
> memory stutter; one smidgen, one scantling of thank.
>
> Dennis Lee
>
--
Andrew
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