Well, Kasper, I disagree. The tone was quiet and built a kind of diurnal
desperation, although I will agree with you on the end cliches, particularly
the 'blood/stone' one.
And I would also like to emphasise that it is a 'snap', not a finished poem
in the poet's eyes.
Andrew
On 16/02/07, kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I found this prosaic, in its meaning of 'bland'. the narration seems
> to think it's saying more than it really is; as a narrational piece,
> this was outright boring for me. maybe it's the fact that the tone is
> so flat. the two clichés at the end don't help the poem's feeling
> either; there seems little or no justification (reference) for them.
> the political presense in the poem was mute, unprovoking.
> the sun/snow image was nice though, & there are bits that could be
> rehabilitated & sent back into the world.
>
> KS
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