Caleb,
So sorry so late in response - am trying to catch up on 350 petc posts. But
had to say, however tardily, I loved this - the elegiac quality.
The last line especially, because it explains with such gut-recognized
simplicity the dreamlike quality of the preceeding lines. I knew days like
these. Had friends with lives near-destroyed by days like these. So easy
to cliche - you don't here.
Cindy
----- Original Message -----
From: "Caleb Cluff" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:08 PM
Subject: Re: Snap - Off Marrickville Road
I thought as much, near soon as I sent it. Premature snapping. It's
dangerous.
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Peter Ciccariello
Sent: Thursday, 11 January 2007 12:49 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Snap - Off Marrickville Road
I must agree here with Kasper. This poem is outstanding, fascinating
imagery, but the last line destroys the flow of it.
- Peter Ciccariello
Image - http://invisiblenotes.blogspot.com/
Word - http://poemsfromprovidence.blogspot.com/
Photography - http://uncommonvision.blogspot.com/
On 1/10/07, kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> this is very powerful in impression, as a sort of out of body
experience
> that takes the reader to this warm, small, echoing, sunlit time &
place.
> very approachable & tangible imagery, some beautiful metaphors. the
last
> line KILLS it.
>
> KS
>
> On 10/01/07, Caleb Cluff <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > Off Marrickville Road
> >
> > We lived, you know.
> > We lived in a big house, owned by Greek greengrocers. We laughed at
> > that.
> > They gave us fruit, and vegetables, and dyed eggs at Easter.
> > There was a rusted rocketship outside our bedroom window,
> > a swimming pool in the park. One summer council built a roof over
it,
> > charged double entry.
> > We climbed the fence naked at night, and weren't alone.
> >
> > In summer, we slept on the grass.
> > I went to the shop in my dressing gown, unconcerned.
> > You laced your shoes with black ribbons and made me undo them.
> > A housemate brought home a sack of potatoes because they were cheap.
> > The smell of them rotting.
> > I learned to make coffee, eat chillies, score.
> > A pane of glass fell from a window and didn't break.
> >
> > At 21, 22, 23 I loved you more completely.
> > The lino on our floor was torn. We made a special room of sheets.
> > Our lovers were leaves disappearing through the floorboards.
> > Some had soundtracks, one was an opera singer.
> > You seduced her on the couch, called her Dame Odalisque,
> > while I watched from the floor like a child.
> > We were children. We had smack. We lived.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
=======================================================================
======
> > The information contained in this email and any attachment is
confidential
> > and
> > may contain legally privileged or copyright material. It is
intended
> > only for
> > the use of the addressee(s). If you are not the intended recipient
of
> > this
> > email, you are not permitted to disseminate, distribute or copy this
email
> > or
> > any attachments. If you have received this message in error, please
> > notify the
> > sender immediately and delete this email from your system. The ABC
does
> > not
> > represent or warrant that this transmission is secure or virus free.
> > Before
> > opening any attachment you should check for viruses. The ABC's
liability
> > is
> > limited to resupplying any email and attachments
> >
> >
=======================================================================
======
> >
>
--
=============================================================================
The information contained in this email and any attachment is confidential
and
may contain legally privileged or copyright material. It is intended only
for
the use of the addressee(s). If you are not the intended recipient of this
email, you are not permitted to disseminate, distribute or copy this email
or
any attachments. If you have received this message in error, please notify
the
sender immediately and delete this email from your system. The ABC does not
represent or warrant that this transmission is secure or virus free.
Before
opening any attachment you should check for viruses. The ABC's liability is
limited to resupplying any email and attachments
=============================================================================
|