Deborah,
I have waded in and set out your exact (rather lovely) words with lots of line
breaks and white space. Less 'modest', but something like this suits my eye and
ear better than your rather crammed, 'bustled'?, layout...
best from Max
Quoting deborah russell <[log in to unmask]>:
The Moon Is a Jade
This sky is full of starlight
against the deep, dark black.
Lightly, the way sleep gleams
the eyes on winter nights,
his hair, unleashed, brushes
my face … though it doesn't matter
as I pass from one dream to the next,
thoughts unwinding flexible threads.
Frayed …the moon is a jade,
pages pressed with feathers,
poems of fading light and love's
restless disease. You'd think, by now,
I'd have memorized the path where
pine needles lay down their pungent scent,
where sunlight kisses eyes and weaves
fragmented seams in light weight wraps …
I wake in a combination of sun
and shadow; knowing he was no more than
an inspiration for a poem -
yet in this slight breeze,
I feel the definition of his laugh.
Deborah Russell, © 2007
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